There is no doubt about it. I'm not a "joiner." I find friendships complicated, and I am uncomfortable in crowds. A writer's life, out of necessity, is a solitary life. I research, and I write. It's what I do. It's what I love.
When I began to write on the internet, I was terrified. Every time I posted a story, my heart would pound, my mouth would become dry, and my hands would sweat. You see, I write, not so much with my hands or head, as I do with my heart.
Heart writing is often considered trivial...not real writing. In my past it was referred to as "emotional" or "sentimental." Well, that brings us to today. I've been pretty successful; however, I have touched more hearts than I have collected money.
Heart wounds are painful, almost unbearable. My healing has been through sharing my own defeats and triumphs. I've tried to learn from my pain, and I have tried to heal with my writing. Somewhere, someone needs to know: You are not alone; someone cares; someone has felt what you feel; someone has been you. It's a small thing, but I can remember a time when I desperately needed to know these very things. I promised, after I hit bottom, that I would do everything I could to touch the hearts of others: the alone, the lost, the afraid.
So, now you know. Outside of my family, I have no close friend, except for a dear friend from long ago. I do, however, have a husband and daughters who love me very much. I love being with them. I also have my dogs: Happy Dog, Peanut, Pixel, and Jessie; and my cat, MeowMeow. I love very hard. I put everything into it. It makes me vulnerable. So, I pour out my heart onto the page. I write to you, to simply share my day, my hopes, my aspirations, and my sorrow.
I know that I am not alone, but someone reading this may feel very alone. It's hard. These are tragic times. But I believe that we are on the threshold of a new day, and that our very best lies ahead.
Whoever you are, please don't give up. I will be praying. And though I don't know your name or your pain, God does. I say this with all my heart. Hold on. Life can be beautiful. And that is what I give to you today.
Father, bring us through these uncertain times, and grant us your peace, and a vision of safety and comfort in the days ahead.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008