It is difficult for me to choose which Book in the Old Testament that I most closely identify with. The Old Testament has taught me many things about God, the Bible, and myself. No Old Testament figure has had more of an influence on my life than David. Hero he may have been, and hero he may remain, but David's heart belonged to God. It was before God that David knelt, not in pride, but with humility.
"This poor man cried out," David acknowledged speaking of himself, "and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles." Psalm 34:6.
David knew who he was. He was no wimp, as we would say today; yet he knew that every victory he ever had, whether against another, or against his own human failings, God was his victory.
I first read about David at the age of twelve. The Bible was forbidden to me, yet I disobeyed and I read it in secret. I must admit that I had backing from my mother. I'll always be thankful for her encouragement.
I was raised in the old Catholic Church, where personal reading of the Bible was forbidden. The Pope was called the vicar of Christ on earth, and the priest represented Christ to us in our own Parishes. Much of the Catholic Church in my childhood, actually stood in the way of a personal relationship with God. David, on the other hand was a shining example of a man whose relationship was so personal, that he willingly and humbly opened himself before God, fully expecting wrath, yet gaining God's mercy and His love.
That is where I want to live my life with God, personal, exposed in His sight, admitting of my sins, and repenting from them. I want to throw myself upon His mercy, knowing that I don't deserve it and cannot earn it.
David danced before God. He celebrated Him in his life, in spite of his sinful ways. David hated his own sin. Once he realized that He hurt God, and hurt Him he did, David humbly repented and begged for forgiveness. Because of this, God not only called David friend, but He called him His beloved. That is what the name David means, "beloved."
This is the relationship I desire to have with God. I try to live my life with humility, and often, I fail. I try to be brave in the face of tragedy, and boy, I really fail at that. But I try, and sometimes, by the grace of God, I am victorious, and when I am, I praise His name.
I know that someone reading this might be confused as to what I mean. I'm so sorry. How difficult it is for me to express what all this means to me. I can only confess that God is as real as my heart beat, which I can feel but cannot see. He is more powerful than a strike of lightning, which can be seen, but little understood.
There are so many things in nature that are as mysterious as faith in God. For instance, gravity is one of the weakest forces in nature, yet it keeps the planets from colliding, and from throwing ourselves into the sun. Why? Science can teach us many things, but only with limitation. Science can tell us how the sky is blue, but they cannot tell us why. There are so many diseases that once were deadly, yet in our understanding of nature which surrounds us, there has been found a cure.
Really? You might say. Name one medicine that has given us a cure which has changed the world, you might demand. Okay. Penicillin. Penicillin changed the world. Where did it come from? Mold. Even when I was a girl, penicillin was so powerful against infection, that one shot was enough to cure you. Now we have so many derivatives, such as Augmentin and Amoxillin, which are made in a laboratory. Science can discover but it cannot create. Science can only imitate that which God has done.
There are so many miracles that God has done, within my own life, which fill me with wonder and humility. Praise His name. In my blog I have enumerated so many of these events. If Science would only consider that there is a God, and that they need Him, what wonders and medical cures could be brought about. If Science would have humility and acknowledge God, many secrets in nature might be understood.
Humility before God is not something that comes easy to me. I like to whine and complain first. I even manage to blame God for many troubles that I have brought about myself. I am a messy, clumsy child of God. I often wonder if He rolls His eyes at me. And, why am I still here? That question I cannot answer I cannot find, but I enjoy every moment that I spend with Him, and loving Him makes my heart smile. He is my first love, and whether I am going to like tomorrow or not, I pray that I will accept it with humility.
The Touch of His Hand by Jaye Lewis
I have been to the top of a mountain
Where the air is crisp and clean.
I have seen the Gulf meet the ocean
In a tempest of blue and green.
I have heard the deepest silence
In the eye of the hurricane;
Yet, in the storm that raged within me,
I found the sweetest Name.
The Name that created the heavens,
And rules them to this day;
The Name that rules, within my heart
Can never be stolen away.
Where ocean greets the gulf stream;
Where shore meets the sunlit sand;
Where mountain meets the heavens;
I can see the touch of His hand.
In awe I seek the distance,
Where galaxies collide;
This God of minute detail,
From Him I cannot hide.
He follows my every footstep.
He's sought me all my days.
He's taken residence in my heart
And teaches me all His ways.
I do not learn that easy.
I struggle as David did.
Yet, He sought me in my darkest place,
Where I thought that I was hid.
And, still, He seeks the corners
Of the soul that is burdened with sin;
He pierces all the secrets,
And spreads His Light within.
Go to Him! Wait no longer!
He desires to save your soul.
Go, now, to your Savior, Jesus!
His Love will make you whole!
And if you already know Him,
Hold Him close within your heart.
Be a guiding light to others
And His love will not depart.
© Jaye Lewis, 1999