It’ early-thirty on a Thursday morning, and I’m the only one awake. I have my hot cup of coffee to chase the cobwebs from my brain, and my weenie dog snoozes on the bed beside me. My world is pretty sweet right now. I have only this blog to be responsible for – my lifeline to the world – and I am relearning skills that I haven’t done in twenty years.
God has given me these amazing gifts. He has brought about inventions that have made my life more comfortable and safe. I have medications which keep me alive and full of gratitude for those who have allowed their minds to conceive of such wonders. We all have wonderful minds, but do we use them in a way that glorifies the One who gave us this gift?
Do we keep our minds free of evil thoughts? Do we hate people we know nothing about? Do we shame God with our thoughts about who should live or die? Only God can decide such a thing, and to harbor thoughts of harm to another? Well, from such things we should run away, and fill our minds with our love of Him.
That is why a continuous relationship with God is so necessary — not just prayers repeated again and again. A relationship is based upon love, affection, sharing one’s intimate thoughts, laughing at oneself, and looking out upon the beautiful world that He has given to us, and being grateful to Him.
Oh, how I love my time with God. Just God and me. I love gazing at the mountains surrounding my home, and the beautiful smoky blue haze which surround them. I love the sound and sight of the birds which I care for, even and especially in the wildest weather. I love serving Him through them; and I love serving Him, through my sharing with you.
There is a sadness within me, however, especially as we approach the days of Christ's passion. I am mindful that I am unworthy of His sacrifice, especially because of the many gifts and blessings that He has given to me. Thursday of next week is Maundy Thursday, the day that commemorates the Last Supper of Christ, the night that He was betrayed. Strangely enough, it is also my birthday.
In a garden that night, Christ took my sins upon Himself, along with the weight of the sins of the world, both yours and mine. From the time that Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden fruit to the end of the world, Christ carried our sins to the Cross, and we are all forgiven if we place our trust in Him. Wow!
When Jesus cried out with His last breath, "It's finished!" His agony burst through time and eternity, and He bought back what the Devil had stolen in the Garden. I have limited understanding, but I know that Heaven's gate is open wide, and one day I will live with Him. Yet still I sin, as though I do not know any better. I can assure you that I do. So, every day I repent, with every prayer I say. Father forgive me for I know too clearly what I do.
Oh Father Dear by Jaye Lewis
Did You know, Oh Father dear, how painful it would be,
To see Your Son just hanging there, in all His agony?
Did You see ungrateful me running from that sound;
When Jesus groaned his final breath, with silence all around?
Did You know that it would take so long, for my knees to bend
In full surrender to Your love, and so transform my end?
Did You see me long ago, when I was but a child,
Longing for those tender arms from someone meek and mild?
Oh Father, did You see me, when first I knelt in prayer;
When first I felt Your presence and just knew You must be there?
Did You hide Your face in anguish, as I pounded in the nail?
Did You despise my presence when Your Son began to wail?
When I grabbed the whip and beat Him,
Did You hate my presence then?
Was it then that you forgave me, so I could begin again?
I was stubborn, Lord, I surely was, and often I resented!
Why did You seek this stubborn child, and make her so contented?
Oh Father, I can hear Your voice, sweetly calling me.
I long to run into Your arms and feel serenity.
Oh Father, I can feel His pain and every drop of blood,
Washing all my sins away in mercy’s cleansing flood.
To think that You allowed this, embracing every stroke
Of stone, and whip, and curse and lash, before I ever spoke!
It breaks my heart to know that I could cause his blessed face,
To break in utter agony, to save this human race.
So even though my sorrow seems too heavy now to bear,
It helps to know You’re with me here, and You’ll be with me there,
When last I breathe my final breath and see Your glorious smile,
I’ll thrill to hear Your loving words, “Come child and rest awhile.”
© Jaye Lewis,
April 10, 2006