The time between my last post and today's has been a long time, considering how much writing that I do; and it has been a difficult time. I've been thinking about my family medical history, my medical history, and why it seems that in this world of "health masters," people seem to get sick more and die more. It seems as though there is an open season of evil. Perhaps the things that are in our faces today always happened; we just didn't know. Or evil is running rampant, and we are only safe in the hands of the Lord. I believe that the latter is the case.
Depression runs in my family, possibly manic-depression. No one ever sought help. It just wasn't done. My mother said that women in our family were "high-strung." Really, Mom! If you ever saw my mother in a rage, or my aunt, her sister, turn from a peaceful valley into a raging volcano, in a split second, you would believe her observation. According to my mother we were artistic souls. Yeah! Like Van Gogh cutting off his ear! My childhood was very confusing growing up, to say the least, and I couldn't wait for it to pass.
So, where is my healing? Well, there is only one place that I can truly run to, when life becomes so heavy that I have to climb five flights of stairs, just to reach bottom. Jesus. I run, just as fast as I can, and I throw myself into His arms. In His arms I am neither old nor weak. In His arms I am young and strong.
There are those who would laugh at my faith. In fact, right now, there is a movement to prove that Jesus was merely a man, who had all the foibles that we all have. It is like a crusade to prove that we have no Savior. I have to ask why? Go live your own life. Believe your own imaginings. Dream your own dreams. Cling tightly to those dreams as you take your final breath. And then what? That is the question they never answer. And then what? And that is the question that Jesus answers. And then what?
Do you know how Jesus answered that question? He said:
"Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also." John 14:1-3
Believe it or not, when I read those words, I can feel the power of His presence. I can feel the peace that He sends: "Let not your heart be troubled...." Don't worry, He says. Don't be troubled. One day, after the world has taken everything out of me, except my faith. He will come for me. He will hold out His arms, and I will run into them for the last time. I have a home. I have a mansion, which is built not of stone or wood or brick. It is built of His love and sacrifice.
The love of Jesus Christ transcends every awful experience of my childhood. It transcends every happiness of my present life. Jesus loves me. He truly does. And with all the temptations of this modern world; with all the false gods of prosperity and possessions, this fact remains true. I will go to the mansion that He has prepared, and I will spend an eternity with Him.
This morning I dreamed that I was in heaven. I dreamed that I was put in charge of the animals on some distant world. Can you imagine? What a beautiful Eden this earth must have been before we messed it all up. Every time I look out my door at the mountains that surround our home, I think about how beautiful it would be, to actually have a clear day and see forever.