Saturday, September 27, 2008

A Time to Sift

Hello friends,
Have you ever noticed that there are times one must stop, look at their lives, and take stock of where they are putting their energies. My energies, as with many others, are expended with the ones, and the things, that I love. My family, my dogs, my garden, and my God. Now, what's wrong with that sentence? Seems okay, but looking closely, my relationship with God came last. That's not where my heart is supposed to be. It's not even where I wish to be. So, now, I must sift all the important things in my life, not into the right order, but into the right Spirit.
I've tried living up to the world, and I have to tell you, there's not much out there that changes hearts. The only heart-changer in my life has been God. He must come first, or nothing else has any meaning.
The next most important thing, in my life, is my husband and our personal relationship. Am I jeopardizing it through self-centered ways, pride, self-pity, or unexpressed anger? Louie has taught me how to love without taking; how to receive with a joyful heart; and how to forgive without withholding. These are not lessons that the world teaches.
Then come my daughters: beautiful souls; lovely faces; voices of kindness; and nurturing hearts. These illuminating lights of God's grace have given me devotion that fills me with wonder. It is impossible for me not to marvel at their generosity of spirit.
Now, come my dogs: my big-hearted, stubborn, whale of a dog, more sensitive than his size suggests. He's been known to creep under my feet, and when I lose my balance and stagger near him, he leaps up screaming. This further insures full body contact, that sends me reeling, as Jessie streaks over to his safe spot. It can take days to heal his timid heart.
Happy Dog, my heart, my laughter, my protector, my baby, my friend, he is all of these. Peanut, an adorable fox-like Pomeranian, with Titian gold hair, and a joyful grin. She is my precious girl. Pixel, our newest arrival, full of mischief and a marvelous deductive mind, that is engaging to see.
And then there is me. That would be where gardening comes in. I love my gardens. I love not knowing, and then finding out. I love failing, only to try again. I love getting dirty. I love collecting earthworms from one place and moving them to another. I love the cool morning breeze upon my face, and best of all, watching things grow. Trees, now 20 feet high were grown from seedlings. Dahlias that I planted as seed, are now blooming.
These are the seasons of my life: My God, my husband, my daughters, my pets, and myself. Taking care of myself is the hardest thing I do. But I don't want to risk a shortened life, because I would not make the hard choices for my health.
Today is a time for sifting my behavior into an attitude of God's will. You see, the diabetes that I had so carefully controlled, has changed. Now, it is in control of me. My doctor and I have begun a new treatment, which still includes diet and exercise. I don't like this. I want to be in control. So, today is a time to sift.
Father in heaven, I'm not worthy of your favor, but I thank You for blessing me with it anyway. May You bless those souls who look in on my journey with You.
With love,
Jaye Lewis

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