I'm writing to you from my living room on a new computer which is beginning to annoy me. Automatically it has become something that I can barely read. The background is too bright, and the print is too light. All in all, it is annoying to discover just how easy it is to change things right before my eyes. Yet, the computer can be fixed. My eyes, not necessarily.
Two days ago, I awoke to vision that had turned my right eye's view into a dull, orange pink. When I tried to read, my sight was distorted and rather dim. I immediately went to my eye doctor, who in turn sent me to an ophthalmologist, whom I will see tomorrow. Since then, my eyesight has improved; however the spot, while smaller, is still there.
What can this mean? I don't know, and I won't speculate. However, it has occurred to me that life is much like a computer. We get "bugs." We get too bright for our own good, and we are too small for the good of others.
Computers can be fixed, or traded in, or replaced. People, on the other hand, are not computers. Often they cannot be fixed, and would we want to trade them or replace them? All too often, the answer is yes. I have known people with catastrophic illness who have been abandoned by a spouse, laughed at by their children, and whispered about in church.
"She staggers all the time. Could she have a drinking problem?"
In every medical condition, I have heard and seen speculation first. I wonder why this is? Why do we believe things that we do not know? Where do we keep our tender mercy? Or have we lost it? This is personal for me, because I stagger often, just as though I were drunk. I don't drink.
What has happened to me is the result of several medical conditions. In spite of that my husband shows me every day that he loves me without condition. And every day, he loves me more than the day before. His love is more precious than gold. He loves me. Always. Without question. Without speculation. This is the miracle of my life. So, here is my testimony:
For the Time that God Has Given
For the time that God has given,
I will thank Him every day,
As the rosy glow of dawn
Seems to take my cares away.
And for the evening sunset
That sets the sky on fire
I will hold my breath and shout to God,
"You are my heart's desire!"
Then in the evening I will gaze
Into my husband's eyes,
And I will see reflected there
A love he can't disguise.
His devotion is so very like
A shooting star above,
A precious and a priceless gift
Sent from the God of love.
So, if I ever lose my sight
And cannot see his face,
My hands will then become my eyes,
And lovingly I'll trace
Every contour that I've always known
Has eyes for only me;
And then with gratitude to God,
My heart will truly see.
How can I not be grateful
For this one and perfect love?
No matter what the future brings,
I'll trust in God above.
© Jaye Lewis, 2008
So, my friends, while there is trepidation in my heart, there is also confidence. I know that God loves me. I know that my husband adores me. I have wonderful daughters, and I pray that God will truly give them long life and all good things. Life is always precious, and true love does not run when tribulations appear.
I hope for you, this day, a love without condition and faith to accept all the things in life that God has given to you, especially in those times of testing.
Monday, March 10, 2008