I suppose that the title to this piece could be "a time to ponder," for that is what this piece is really about. Time. Making up time. Wasting time. Taking the time. And, of course, all the time in the world. That's where I am -- all the time in the world. That's what God has given me. Time.
I often don't like this gift. The time I missed my daughter's talent contest, where she won in a flurry of attention. The beauty pageant that she won with eyes alight with her inner beauty, and a smile that could light up the sun. There are so many things I have missed, because of health issues. So many things.
I am one of the lucky ones. I am blessed with a unique and lasting love of a man who truly understands that commitment. I have the love and devotion of two beautiful daughters, who count themselves blessed to make me a "throw-up" bag, or hold my head as I lean over the side of the bed.
Being like any other human being, I'd like to have more. I'd like to be able to leap to my feet in a crowd and applaud my daughters as they receive one award after another, but usually I cannot. They never suggest, with even a glance that I have let them down, and you know, I believe them.
So why not end it all, right now, as some would say. Why? Because God has given me time. The time to see the beautiful generosity of my children's souls. He has given me time to weigh the balance between what the world calls "love," and the wonderful, selflessness of my husband's devotion. He has given me time to really see who they are, and to tell them that I see.
God has given me time to understand the great riches of a warm hand brushing the hair back from my brow. He has given me time to see the great beauty blazing in the eyes of love. He has given me time to say, "you are my hero," and to mean every word.
He has given me time to gaze up at the stars on a crystal clear night, and to know that He created each one simply for my pleasure. He has given me time to watch a radiant sunset from the beginning to the end. He has given me time, so much time. And for those of us racing against time, I believe, He has given me the greatest gift of all.