A Time for Letting Go

Hello friends,

My heart and my mind have been in a turmoil for much of this year. There are many reasons, but here's what it feels like.

Suppose that I am in a burning building, on the 10Th floor. To leap out with no where to go except down is simply impossible. But I don't want to stay where I am, and below me is real safety. When I look down, out the window, I can see a ring of fireman, stoutly holding a net. Do I jump, or do I stay? I sit on the windowsill, and my heart is pounding in my chest. Jumping is simply not going to happen. I clutch the hard wood beneath my fingers, until they almost break. I pray with all my fear, shouting to God. SAVE ME, LORD!!! And then I hear a voice.

"Be at peace. I will save you. All you have to do is let go." Then, I let go.

The rest of the story doesn't matter. It's the letting go that changes my life. Letting go is the first step to surrender. Holding on is defeat. Obviously, I am talking about my relationship with God and my understanding that He knows better than I. We simply don't think the same. My thoughts are selfish, and perhaps, self-serving. God's thoughts are perfect and often contrary to what I want.

So, at that point, I have two choices: to hold onto my desires or to trust in Him and let go. Over and over again I have this struggle. One would think that I would be comfortable with whatever God wants, before I see the outcome. I've practiced being stubborn, and I'm really good at it. Each time, I do repent, and I always wonder why I doubted God's perfect knowledge. Yet, I repeat my pattern of sin again and again.

The Apostle Paul said it best in Romans 7:15-16...For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good.

Whew!! If that's not confused, I don't know what is! Yet, this passage of Scripture intimately illustrates the struggles of my very human spirit.

I've heard many a fellow Christian say: "Once I was saved, I never looked back, never faltered, never doubted, etc., etc., etc." This always annoys me. Because when they are looking at the perfection of their life, I am looking at the basket case that I often am. Sure, I'm going forward, but I'm stumbling all the way. In fact, I sometimes pick up the stumbling blocks, and with breaking back, I toss them ahead of me in my path, just so I can fall over them! At least so it seems.

Sometimes the way seems so certain. I can see the path that I want so clearly, that I mistake the difference between God's will and mine. I forget that God makes my path straight, as I step forward, trusting only in Him.

I don't know how some people live without God. Without even a desire to know Him. To seek. To find out. I don't understand. But, then, maybe they do look and desire, but they just can't let go of their naked desires. If only I could reach their hearts and tell them:

God reaches for us, as we are; not as we will become. He loves us in spite of, and perhaps in some way, because of our faults and imperfections. And He wants us no matter what. All you have to do is let go of that box of rocks that you carry around on your back.

It's true that letting go is the hard part. After that, letting God is easy. My struggle has been two-fold: my real fear for my country and my even greater fear for my daughters. You see, I've seen what God has done. He has done miracles in their lives, as well as mine. How can I doubt him? Why do I go to Him with my list of instructions? And why does He accept me back in spite of the same sin, again and again?

Today, I stand on the threshold of God's greatest blessing for me. He has fulfilled my dreams for my children, by fulfilling their dreams for themselves. Now, it is time for me to let go, and let Him make their path straight before them.

Father, I'm so sorry that I am so stubborn. I'm not submissive, nor am I the obedient daughter that You deserve. This day, yet again, I place my hopes and my dreams, my joys and my sorrows - past, present, and future - into Your loving hands. I understand that although I don't know the outcome, I can trust the One who does. So, Father, this is me, letting go.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time for a Relationship

Hello friends,

There was a time in my life when I had no idea what "a relationship" meant. I certainly didn't come from a family where anyone knew or practiced a relationship. We were one of the original dysfunctional families. Some people say that in the dictionary, along with the definition of dysfunctional, there is a picture of their family. If that is true, then my family should have had their own page.

I don't quite understand why we had such terrible strife when I was growing up. Perhaps it was because my mother and father "had" to get married (my mother's words). Perhaps my Dad resented that, and my mother felt that she had sacrificed her youth. I have no answers. I only know that there was a battle, almost daily, and that I was a very unhappy child.

When I was in college, studying psychology, I actually had a private discussion with my professor, and I asked her about families like mine. I brought letters and told her about some of the most volatile arguments. My father was an alcoholic, that much is clear. No normal person can down a case of beer, in a day, and this would go on for weeks.

My mother would have grand periods of brilliant light and low periods when I couldn't get her out of the basement. Since none of these things were ever spoken of, I carried them around like bricks in a sack, and it was years before I could ever let go of them.

Let me not forget my siblings. Wait, let's forget them. Let's just say that there was a big enough age gap, that we never became close. I try not to remember the utter cruelty, twisted lies, and unbelievable lack of kindness, and that is all I will say.

So how could someone like me ever have a relationship? Where would I start? And what did that mean? Well, without knowing, I began seeking God. Then with the birth of my second child, something happened within my spirit. It may have been triggered by a physical event. I almost bled to death. Then, there was the fact that no one wanted my little girl, so that made me want her more. We have had the closest relationship for over 36 years.

By the time my last child came around, she turned out to be a ray of light. And light, my friends, is what a relationship is. It's not sex. It's not games. It's not flirtation. It's about seeking the light that God gives to each of us, that we either accept or reject.

Light cannot be forced upon you. It shines on you, and some people run from the light. I know, because I have run before. But God never gave up on me. He followed me down the dark roads of my life, and wherever I stopped, He met me there. I find the love of God irresistible, even as I found my husband's love irresistible.

When my husband and I met, we had little in common. You might say that he was blue jeans and tennis shoes, and I was more satin and lace. But we both loved books, and, by golly, my two youngest children fell in love with him. They lived to get us together, and they very much succeeded. We fell in love, married, and we just celebrated our 27Th anniversary.

At 62, I have traded the satin and lace for flannel and fleece. I don't move as well as I once did, but his hands holding mine are still warm and strong. He lights my life with a strong, masculine presence, and a sense of decency that still amazes me. He has made me happy, and that is a first class miracle.

So where am I today? I am in a deep, personal relationship with my Creator. I am a Christian who walks in the foot steps of Jesus. I don't deserve His grace, but I can feel His light all around me.

I believe that God held me in His heart from the first second of creation, and He holds me in His heart today. My life is that cool cup of water, with which He quenched my thirst. I was hungry, and He fed me. And He feeds me still. I cannot tell you why God has blessed me. Lord knows that I haven't earned it.

Because of Him, and His grace, I seek to become a better person, a kinder person. It's like this: what do I want to leave behind, when my Father in Heaven calls me home? Kindness. Gentleness. Forgiveness. And love.

Father in Heaven. How can I ever express my gratitude for all of Your mercy and grace? You have changed my heart and my life. You have given me a loving marriage and children who honor and love me. You, Lord, not me. I could not have done this myself. Why, oh why, would You choose me?

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time for Victory

Hello friends,

I want to apologize for my rantings about American politics. This journey that I take with God is no place for confusion, anger, and resentment. There is so much more to my life, with little victories that I cannot take credit for. So, I ask for your forgiveness and for the forgiveness of God.


Politics in America can get pretty raw. Perfectly normal people become wrapped up in ideas, ideals, fears, biases, and (the closer we get to election day) insanity. Entering the election booth can be so intimidating, that my hands become ice-cold and sticky with sweat. Making a wise choice seems absolutely impossible. So, for now, I think it is time to abandon politics, and welcome you to another day.

Every morning is a triumph for me. I wake up before dawn, and I share that first sip of coffee with my husband and daughters. Soon we say our good-byes, and I am now alone. Sometimes I watch the sun rise in the mountains. Sunrises are breathtaking here. You have to watch carefully, so that you don't miss seeing the mist, suddenly, swept away by the heat of the rising sun.

The sun sends rosy streaks across the sky, then the first glint of morning's bright dawn shoots through the trees. The trees around my house are alive with birds who shout their welcome. My heart feels the warmth of a new, sweet day, long before the summer's heat sends me indoors.

There was a time, not that long ago, when I could barely pull myself out of bed. Hitting the floor with my knees was easy. Staying down as I prayed for strength to rise up, was often painful. Pushing myself up was an agony, and staggering into the shower was a major triumph. Later, while looking for answers in the Word of God, I found none. Serious, often life threatening, illnesses ruled my life. I was certain that I would never get well. Surely there would never be medications strong enough to treat my suffering. I was wrong.

I had made a conscious choice, before God, that I would accept physical illness, if He would send healing to my soul. But over the years, my resolve had gotten weaker, and I was very close to giving up. Then, in what seemed like overnight new medications were available to heal my body. I could not believe it. My life changed dramatically. How could I keep my balance now, when a whole new world seemed open to me? So, I keep God with me, within my new found hope.

Now, I race through the early morning dark, so that I can slip outside and dig in the dirt. Earthworms wriggle through my fingers, and plants reach for the sky. Do you have any idea just how triumphant it feels to force a weed to give up its home in the soil? It's as though you are this great giant ripping trees from the earth.

Like a little girl shaking her tousled curls, my garden moves in the wind. The cool morning breeze tickles my skin, and I begin the best part of my day. God walks in my garden in the cool of the day. I can feel his touch upon me. I see His smile in each nodding bloom that greets my heart.

God loves me, and I know it. He delights in what delights me. Oh, how could I look upon the beauty of this earth, that is still evident, even after we have polluted it, and say, "this was an accident?" Such notions are foolish, and the Bible makes it clear that to say there is no God, requires one to be a fool.

So, I believe, even as I have believed in my weakest moment. Despairing though I was, I knew that God loved me then, too. I thank Him for that grace, and it would be a disservice to disbelieve in Him now.

So, I now begin the dawn of my day. I wish you grace and peace no matter who you are. May the Lord light your path and make it straight before you. And may you find yourself safe in the palm of His hand.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time for Identity

Hello friends,

"You're not from here." I have heard that comment many times, since our retirement from the Navy. People can tell by my voice, immediately, that I'm just not from the southern Appalachians. No, I'm not from here, although I've lived here since 1996, and two years in '92 through '94. I'm not from here, but I love it.

I love the people, whose honesty and kindness are a testimony to the lives they live. Never fear that you'll get stuck on the side of the Interstate if your car breaks down. Someone is going to stop to help. Someone else will contact the State Police, and, quite frankly, you're likely to draw a crowd.

It amazes me, and angers me, when I hear the people of the Appalachian southern states ridiculed or made light of, as though they are too ignorant to come in out of the rain. Let's not forget that this is the birthplace of Country music, which has made stars of guitar pickers from all over the world, including Australia.

When I was a little girl, I spent some wonderful days in the care of a half-Cherokee woman who taught me how to cook, sew, and to love. She was from Johnson City Tennessee, and her last name was...you guessed it...Johnson. You have not lived until you've tasted her fried peach pies. And the thought of her buttered biscuits, dripping with orange blossom honey, still makes my mouth water. Yum.

My point is that much is being made of southern Appalachia in this election year. I've heard these dear people brushed off as "real rednecks," totally unworthy of the smallest modicum of respect. This hurts my heart. You see, my sweet husband is from Tennessee, and his twangy country voice was one of the things that made it easy for me to fall in love with him. The ignorance of many news people, simply boggles my mind. The very idea that intelligence can be determined by your colloquial accent is sheer nonsense.

Who thinks that Henry Kissinger is a low-brow, simply because he speaks with an accent. We all have accents. I have a north Florida accent, which means I sound like I'm from California or Indiana or any other place which has assimilated so many accents that anything original has been wrung out.

I feel deeply for Senator Obama when his speech is referred to as too intellectual. That too is nonsense to me. I understand every word he says. Is he brilliant? You bet he is. He's smart enough to know that he doesn't know everything, so he goes to the brightest of the bright for advice and counsel. I don't very much trust a person who "knows everything." That person is often a "self-made man" who adores his maker.

I can state very positively that with every speech, I wonder about John McCain's ability to guide our country out of the mess his party has given to us. After all, he is the one who has spent nearly 30 years straddling fences and "making deals" across the isle. Making deals does not necessarily mean compromise. It can also mean that you flow where the wind blows. Every word out of his mouth tells me he is not a nice man.

I am not amused with John McCain's political ads. Far from making me question Barack Obama's capacity to lead, McCain's ads make me question his abilities...not to mention his mental capacity. For God's sake, he's arm in arm with Rush Limbaugh, a radio broadcaster, whose army of "ditto-heads" still follow him blindly, in spite of his known drug addictions. It makes me wonder if they all gather together in someone's basement, shaving one another's back and putting their head's together to agree on the next political move.

This is not smart. Do they really think that the American voting public are idiots? Uninformed? In a coma? Believe me, even way back here in the boondocks, where the "real rednecks" live, we have the Internet, and I know very few people who don't have a computer. Oh yes, one of those computer illiterate people is John McCain.

Oh! Will this election cycle never end? I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the carrion picking the bones. Oh, for the days of Walter Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow! When news meant news, and "tabloid journalism" was shunned as not real journalism.

So, this is why I talk about this being a time for identity...a time to know one's heart. Who am I? And where do I belong? I've been asked that a lot, and I can definitely declare: I may not have been from here, but I am now.

I hope and pray that God sees the faithfulness of the people of this region. I hope that they receive the President that they need. This is where I will spend the rest of my life, among God's people, who turn to Him each day. There's a humility here, that touches my heart. I'm from Appalachia. This is my home.

Dearest Father in heaven grant us the wisdom that only comes from you. Hold our hands as we step out in a journey that only Your grace can guide. Help us to know our hearts, and help us to understand who we are, as well as whose we are.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org

A Time for Praise

Hello friends,

I'm sitting here, at my computer, with dirt all over my clothes and face. My hair is plastered to my head, and my face is a rosy red. No, not a sunburn. I stay covered up. I've been gardening since 7:30 in the morning, and now it's time to call it a day.

The sun is now high in the sky, and even shade gives little relief, but I WAS GARDENING!!!! That, my friends, is a miracle. After my relationship with God and my family, there is nothing else I love to do more than gardening. Because of my health, I have not been able to garden in five years! And even when my health was not at stake, I have never been able to garden after the 4th of July. Here it is July 19th, and here I am, covered with dirt. What a blessing it is to play in the dirt and watch the earthworms scurry away.

It's a funny thing about earthworms. They have no idea just how much I love them. I take great care to keep them safe, as I return them to do their job in the soil. But the earthworms are unaware of me. They only know that their lives have been interrupted.

This has gotten me thinking. How often is my life interrupted, and I have no idea why? I can't see the One who is lifting me from the soil and laying me gently in another, safer place. I wiggle and squirm, panic and moan, and I never look up to see His face. Like the earthworms, I have my panic attack, focusing only upon myself.

Now, I am more than an earthworm. Jesus said, that not a single sparrow falls to the ground, that our Heavenly Father does not know. (I know, I've just used double negatives.) Then Jesus tells us: "You (meaning you) are worth more than many sparrows." This is revolutionary! God knows who the sparrow (or the worm) is. He loves each sparrow, but he loves us more...MORE THAN MANY! He loves me. He loves ME!

So, now, that I find myself out in the garden at 7:30 in the morning...weeding, planting, planning, and saving all the worms...I cannot help but praise the One who made this all possible. I know there are those who would say: science, not God, made this possible. My answer, of course, is this: Who made the scientist? From where did the scientists receive their intellect, their need to explore the unseen world, their desire to reach out for a treatment for a certain disease?

I believe that God is the Author of my life. I know with a great certainty that I needed to be sick. I needed to take the time to reach a relationship with God. Oh, how lovely is the gift which comes to us unexpectedly, after much asking! And what about the gift that we receive after we have given up? It is difficult to not feel humbled, when God steps in and fills that gap in our lives with Himself. So, now I praise my Lord and my God.

Father, I stand in awe because of Your mercy and grace. I am humbled by Your love for me. Forgive me Lord for my tremulous faith. I know that You love me, and I can only praise You at the foot of the Cross.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org

A Time for Clearheadedness

Hello friends,

Do you ever feel as though the world is going insane around you? Yeah. Me too. Right and wrong has been eliminated; whereas expediency is now a profound virtue. Expediency: self-serving, self-seeking, conniving, calculating, thinking only of oneself. This is now a virtue? It's okay to cheat when it serves your purpose? And, my word, "TV Hell" has become the thief of inner peace! You know what I'm talking about - the not really reality TV? I believe it is a reflection not of what we have become (or at least I hope not), but it is a reflection of what we allow. Then, there is politics...American politics.

America is suffering from, what we call, an election year. It's kind of like the year of blowing smoke. Politicians say anything to get elected, and then they do little or nothing. But the lunacy does not stop with the politicians. It also rests in the hearts of the voters, many of whom (and I say this without rancor) seem to be out of their minds!

Americans are, by nature, centrists. Usually, if one is a Democrat, one leans a little to the left. Liberal. Those who are Republican, usually lean a bit toward the right. Conservative. Liberal does not mean unpatriotic, and Conservative does not mean salvation. In the middle are Independents, the sort of live and let live voters. Independents swing elections.

In our present election for President of the United States, we have John McCain and Barack Obama. Barack Obama is not a demon, and John McCain is not the answer to our prayers. Barack Obama is a Christian. He has won me over on that. It is obvious, not in his speeches, but in the way he answers questions about his faith in Christ. I was amazed. He is so comfortable in his expression of his faith...thoughtful, and to tell you the truth, with awe and reverence.

Faith is not where you park your body on Sunday morning. It is an expression of where your heart is. Now, I disagree with many of Barack's more left-leaning opinions, but he has made it clear to me that he loves our country more than he would love the power of the Presidency.

Obama was naive in the beginning, and I was fervently for Hillary Clinton. I was offended by the way she was treated, but I was proud of her honor in defeat. Since then, I've seen a change in Obama, a deeper humility that just may be the mark of an outstanding President.


McCain is not the man he was in 2000. Maybe he never was. He has totally disappointed me. He loves to drop insulting remarks, parading as humor. On a personal level, I don't like people who make insulting remarks and call it humor. It's fine for smoke filled rooms, but not in the Presidency. There is something unlikeable about him these days.


There are only two choices for President. McCain or Obama. Obama's campaign with Hillary Clinton served him well. There's nothing like feeling humble to change a heart. Some-where in the midst of the Primary Election, Obama had a heart change. He's suffered shock and loss. I think he's learned. And I believe the greatest gifts a President can give to his country is humility and the desire for change.

So, in spite of myself, Obama has won me over with style and grace. I'm certain that he loves his country as much as I do. I don't know if I care to sit across the table from him and share an arugula salad and latte. Who thought that one up? Some reporter, no doubt. I don't want a coffee buddy; I want a President who loves his country more than he loves the power it gives him.

So, I'm looking closely at this election. I watch everything about the election on T.V. I believe that the world is watching too. I'm amazed at the argument as to who is actually qualified to be President. No one is "qualified" to be President. It is strictly a "place your hand in the hand of God" endeavor. I just pray that God will truly be with us, and that He will choose the best man.


Lord, we have asked for the President whom we need, rather than the President that we deserve. Have mercy on us, please. This is a journey we are taking together, a journey that fills our hearts with much trepidation. Please take our hand, Lord. Remember that we are in the midst of a tempest. The sea, Lord, is so big, and our ship is so small. Have mercy.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
http://www.entertainingangels.org/

A Time to Think

Hello friends,

Do you ever feel as though you don't have time to think? Your mind races, trying to find answers to your life. Why am I unemployed? Why am I in a dead-end job? Why is he or she complaining, when they HAVE a job, and I don't?

Lord, help me to think. Help me to find the time, and grant me the focus to understand what is happening! Slow me down Lord. Let my heart seek you in the troubled sleep of the night. Why, Lord, do I seem to be taking two steps forward and two steps back?

My friends, all these things, and more, may be keeping you awake at night. Or, perhaps your sleep is giving you no rest. I, too, wonder things, and I, also, seek God's guidance while I drift off to sleep.

There are those who will declare that they don't worry. After all, they say, that they are the Captain of their souls. Those were the last words of Timothy McVeigh. What a sad admission.

I believe that it is illogical to believe in no higher power. The evidence is all around us, and yet, there are those who spend most of their time trying to prove that Almighty God does not exist. Why? Why do people fight against what they insist does not exist? This is a mystery to me.

I don't care if others think I'm a fool. I am a fool. I'm a fool for Christ. I love Him. I believe in Him. He is my Savior. He is my Lord.

There once was a famous scientist who proclaimed to the very end of his life, that there is no God. God did not exist. However, he believed in alien life forms. He also believed that asthma was a psychosomatic (imagined) disease, along with other auto-immune diseases. He believed in nothing. Not what he witnessed. Not what he saw. Nothing. He believed in nothing that was greater than himself.

Well, in the early days of space flight, this scientist worked on a project, which would send a rocket ship into space and across the universe. It is probably still beeping back at us. While all this was wonderful to me, I did not mistake an earthly space craft for my higher power. He did. As the primitive ship was blasted into space, the scientist, who believed in nothing greater than himself, stood transfixed, with tears streaming down his cheeks. Surely this effort would reflect back on us should some alien come across it.

Isn't that sad? He didn't believe in God, but he worshipped the work of his own hands. How transitory we all are. I bet that if I gave you the scientist's name you would not know whom I was talking about.

I guess what I am trying to convey, as I invite you for a journey into my own heart, is to take the time. Someone is out there, and if you don't believe in Him, He believes in you. So, take this time to think, as I will, and ask Him where you are going; why you are here; and what is His plan for you.

Lord, in these troubled times, it is easy to doubt, even though you have kept your hand of protection upon each of us. Please forgive me for the times I have forgotten You. And thank You for never forgetting me. Help us through the storms of life, and by your grace, bring us safely to the other side. May we never forget that You have carved us upon the palm of your hand, and that we are a treasure to You.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangles.org

A Time to Grow Old

Hello friends,

We're getting there. Growing old. Whether we are young or not, it's coming, growing old. I heard from a friend, who is a few years older than I. She has a debilitating disease, and there is nothing I can do about it. She's a good woman, and the progress of her disease troubles me.

I don't think that I've ever considered growing old. I guess I thought that I could, by sheer force of will, prevent the inevitable. Few people of any age like to talk about growing old. It whispers of death. Finality. Mortality. Questions arise. Eternal questions, which should give us comfort, aren't comforting to many people.

How will I feel? Where am I going? Am I safer if I don't think about it? When I'm old, will I be loved? Cherished? Taken care of, if I can't take care of myself? Should I make it hard on the person who cares for me? My husband? My daughters? I think that growing old can be a beautiful thing. It need not be an excuse to mistreat those around us. It can be simply awful for those who love us, if we take and resent, and take our disappointments out on others.

It has taken me awhile to understand that I am never going to be 120 pounds again. Or 130. Or 140. Or even 150. But I have a lovely smile. My skin is pretty smooth. And my hair still glints with gold, and just a touch of silver. I've had a good life.

I'm slower, but then, it makes it easier for my husband to catch me. I don't try very hard to get away. Yes. My feelings have not changed towards my husband. When we were younger, we hardly came up for air. Now, air is a good thing, and so is gentle and slow. I love him, with all the intensity of my youth, and I know without a shadow of a doubt, that he loves me. That, my friends, is everything to me.

Thank you, Father, for a life of passion and truth. Thank you for giving me a warm, strong hand to hold. Thank you for giving me the best life, according to Your will. Thank you for allowing me to grow old with the love of my life.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org

A Time for Truth

Hello friends,

Monday. It's probably the most hated day of the week, unless you are on the first day of your vacation. Perhaps you've had a great week-end. If you have had too much rain, perhaps you had a dry week-end. On Monday, it's now raining again. If you have needed rain, perhaps you've had the sky open up to pour life-giving rain onto your garden, your crops, or your fields. Now, it's Monday, and you may not see a drop of rain for the next week and a half. Like all good things, the week-end has come to an end.

I'm feeling a little Monday today. We had rain last night, finally, after praying for rain all week. We have lifted in prayer all of the people who are devastated by floods in the Midwest. We have also lifted in prayer, the people in the far west, who suffer from wild-fires driven by heat and powerful winds. Even the hint of rain - lightening - can set off fires anew. What is happening to our planet? Why does it now betray us? Why drought? Fire? And flood?

I think we all know the answer, even those of us who hide our faces in the sand. As the saying goes: "There is none so blind, as he who WILL not see." Not can, but WILL. Why are we humans like this? Are we stupid? Are we stubborn? Or are we just plain selfish? Perhaps one or the other, or perhaps all.

You see, we do not have a broad vision. We see what is exactly in front of our eyes, and if we don't like what we see, then we don't change our minds or our hearts. We change our definition. It's still all the same, but we lie about it.

When Hurricane Katrina left levees broken, and the streets of New Orleans became flooded and toxic, it was the most horrible event that I have ever helplessly witnessed. I watched my government flounder and fail. I saw government leaders insist that "I pray for those people every day." Well, isn't that just special. Did you rescue them? Did you drop what you were doing? Act. Decide. Even know what was happening? Did you hide your eyes, while you straightened your shirt collar and combed your hair? No. The whole world was watching while you callously did nothing.

Callousness. According to just about every dictionary, callousness is defined as "emotionally hardened; unfeeling." Now, that doesn't mean you're a racist, since racism involves hatred. Callousness is a word that defines what is NOT going on in your heart, as opposed to what IS going on in your heart.

For instance, someone sees masses of black faces, and one knows that one is not a racist, yet, they feel no obligation to act to save them. Famous excuses are "I'm doing the best I can." Or "I'm being so misunderstood." But what if you can save others, and you don't? That would come under the heading of "callousness." You see, callousness is not an active choice. It is passive. And that is the worst kind of condition of the heart.

Remember recently, the elderly man who was a victim of a hit and run? There he lay, while others gaped and stared, but no one did anything. No one ran into the street and blocked traffic. No one went to the man and gave comfort, a reassuring voice...nothing. God help us.

In the Family Word Finder, the word callous has many definitions: unsympathetic, uncaring, hardhearted, and my two favorites, apathetic and dispassionate. Dispassionate means devoid of emotion or bias. Bias is not necessarily a bad term, because it deals with identifying with another.

"I feel for you, because I could be you."

"I feel for your children, because they could be my children."

Compassion is not sympathy. Compassion is empathy. In your heart, you are the person suffering. And, if you are that person, you can feel their pain. You do something, anything. For instance, our President flew a jet onto an aircraft carrier to announce "Mission Accomplished!" Where were his flying skills, after Katrina? Where was his passion? Where was his compassion? I honestly don't think it exists. That's right, I think my President, whom I voted for twice, is lukewarm.

At the beginning of the Book of Revelation, there are letters written to the seven Churches in Asia, nearly 2,000 years ago. One church was described as lukewarm. According to the Scripture, we are expected to be hot or cold, but lukewarm? Never! Because God says, that if we are lukewarm, he will vomit us out of His mouth.

There is a history behind this statement. The city involved had running water that was carried for miles under a blaring sun. By the time the water reached the tap, it was tepid, warm, and nasty tasting. A drink from the tap often caused a person to vomit the water out of his mouth. Obviously God doesn't like us to be tepid.

The truth is that no one acted in our government, after Katrina, because no one cared about anyone. The only thing cared about were appearances, and when we care about appearances, we've cared, not about others, but about ourselves.

Let's move on to today. Gas prices. Do we really think that nothing can be done? Do you really believe that gas is at the most unheard of price of over $4.00 a gallon, because someone cares? Well, of course the oil companies care. Just ask them. After all, we're all stupid and blind. We can't see the noses in front of our faces.

Do you realize that we are not paying for the oil of today. We are paying for the speculation (theorize, hazard a guess, suppose, imagine, ponder) of what the supply and price of oil will be in the future. In the stock market, this is referred to as "trading in futures." Often used for the wheat crop, or even pork bellies (bacon), trading in futures is guessing what might happen in the future, then betting for or against it. Well, we all know what is taking place in the Midwest, flooding. No corn. No wheat. There go the "futures."

After Hurricane Katrina, I blocked sender most of my email friends. Daily I was barraged with email forwards, which blamed the suffering in New Orleans on those who were suffering. These were the things that were said:

"They're not humble enough." Not humble? When their children were suffering?

"They're not grateful enough." Not grateful? When they were left in the blaring sun for five days?

That was not all, but they are the only two that I can stomach to share.

So, now, here we are, as Americans, facing a new Presidential election. It's hard to know who really cares. People are losing their homes, and they are being blamed for that loss. Jobs are disappearing, and fly-by-night money lenders are springing up like weeds in a cornfield.

Conservatives don't seem to care. My Gosh, Pat Buchanan has just written a book (that is selling quite well, by the way) which denies the Holocaust! What kind of monstrosity is this?! And the Liberals? Well, they smell burning meat, and they're all gathered around for a meal. The Bible says, where the carrion is, there the vultures will gather.

Wow! What a choice! McCain? Obama? Which one cares? Please God, which one is telling the truth? And, come on folks! Simply by serving in the military, no matter how tough your service, does not mean you care today. I'm a veteran. My husband is a veteran. Our children were raised in the military. I knew plenty of active duty military who didn't care. Caring doesn't happen in your head. Change doesn't take place in your habits or in what you say. Change happens in your heart. Only our hearts can change.

So, now, I'd like to hear a little truth. In fact, I'd like to hear a lot of truth. Senator McCain and Senator Obama, I want to know your hearts. I don't want to know what you did. I want to know what you will do. Party politics will pick you apart, down to your bones. The vultures are gathering, and the only thing that matters to me is your heart.

As a family, we are doing well, in a very oppressed region of the country. We thank God for that, but shouldn't every family in our society be well? Shouldn't we all expect to leave a better world for our children? We must! Because the only future we have on this planet is in our children.

So, Senator McCain. Senator Obama. Send hope. Send jobs. Send honor. And, by the grace of God, send compassion and truth.

Father in heaven, in this country shaken by floods, fire, drought and war, please send us a President who has a heart for the poor, and who speaks the truth.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org

A Time to Say Good-bye

Hello friends,

Lately I've been coming across the same advertisement on the web. Basically, the caption goes something like this: "Look up all your old friends. Find out what they are doing today!" And a link is provided. Well, I don't click on unknown links. And it wouldn't matter anyway, since I don't have any "old friends."

I was the new girl in school, all the way through grade school and high school. I was the girl who was bombarded on the first day.

"So, where are you from?"
"Do you have a boy friend?"
"Who's your favorite Movie Star?"
"What are your classes?"

All these questions, and more like them, were abrupt and always served with a grin. Immediately after I answered the third degree, inevitably the person turned their back on me and talked to their next victim, or a real friend. Sound familiar? Yeah. Those who have lived it can still feel the pain.

As a military wife and Mom, we moved. They moved. In two years, your new best friend was your old best friend, who now lived hundreds or even thousands of miles away. After you've changed your address several times, or you've moved in with Mom and Dad, and you've lost touch, all you have left, if you are truly blessed is a warm memory.

I did make one special friend. We lived across from one another for nearly 8 years. We went through the trials and tribulations of military life, and we remained friends. She lives far away from me, but we still keep in touch.

I guess what I want to express, in this blog-post, is that good-bye is not necessarily a bad thing. Good-bye can be a blessing. A time to rethink your life, to discover who you really are and what you really need. Good-bye can be a time to begin again.

Just remember, when you move, leave, or say good-bye, you may leave everyone but yourself behind. So if you are the problem (and it took me years to learn this about myself), well then you'll be taking your problem with you.

My friends, I hope that you will not give up on yourself or your life. You are worth living for. God loves you, and He wants a relationship with you. You may think that you are alone with your thoughts, but you are not. You are very definitely not alone. Someone is listening, and He is listening with all of His heart.

With love,
Jaye Lewis

A Time for Perspective

Hello friends,

Gosh, it's been awhile since I wrote. Much has happened. Illness in the family. College graduations. New jobs. Retirement. I'm older, and not always liking it. I don't like that I'm slowing down, and sometimes it seems like a crawl. My body is doing all sorts of things that disturb me, amaze me, and often makes me laugh.

I want to climb a tree again...without falling out. I want to skip up the street (hey, I was a great skipper) without falling down. I want to walk for hours and never become tired. I want my feet not to hurt. Nor my back. Nor my hands. What must it be like to be pain free? And, oh yes, it would be nice to be 130 pounds again. When was that? Heck, I just might skip up the street, if I could be 150 pounds!!!

These are all small things. Unimportant to anyone but me. But here is my perspective. I'm breathing, very well. My heart is pretty good. I've adjusted pretty well to the medications that make this possible. I want skin that's petal-smooth, eyes that can see the stars, and a body that moves exactly the way it used to.

Again, my perspective...I have lived, laughed, and cried through an amazing history. Where once an automobile drove less than 60 miles per hour, we now have space ships landing on Mars. I have lived through too many wars. I have seen too much pride in our government leaders...folly, parading as wisdom.

I was raised alongside the ocean, and I remember when it was clean and a brilliant blue. I have seen the blue of the ocean meet the Gulf waters in a swirling mist of green and blue. I have seen, with clear vision, a star-filled night explode with tiny points of light. I have lived in a world that did not threaten to choke me with every breath. And I have seen honor, which is a rare value these days.

There are many things to confuse in these times of double-speak. There are many things that assault our eyes, our mind, and our soul. There are things that should be left unsaid, but of course, that is not the fashion of our times.

During the last seven plus years I have seen much to alarm me, shock me, and just plain horrify me. I am not satisfied with a government that I voted to place in office. For a woman who doesn't drink, how did this corruption slip past me?

Yet still, there is much perspective. As I sit at my computer, on the desk before me is a curious kind of rock. At least it is certainly fashioned of rock. It's not very big, but it is beautiful. Understanding that someone loved and used this remarkable instrument, gives me goose-bumps. I am touching an ancient tool, which someone else held in his or her hands, eons ago.

The owner of this tool has been gone long before there was any knowledge of civilization, that we know today. For this stone knife is a part of history long past. It is fashioned in such detail, with impressions for fingers. The tip is dull, after millennia in the earth, yet the place where a bone handle might have been tied is as clear as the palm of my hand. This knife or scraper fits a small hand...my hand. It may have been a present for a youth or a spouse or a young girl. It was once held, as I hold it, by someone who treasured it.

Virginia, where I live has a wealth of history hiding within its soil. People lived and loved and dreamed, right here, under my feet, thousands of years ago. I don't know a single gardener or farmer, in my region, who doesn't have dozens of curious tools from long ago. I found this little knife right in my own back yard.

When this life that we live in, with all of its hypocrisy, lies, and disappointments, is long past, I hope that we have left something of worth behind. I hope we leave clean air and startlingly beautiful animals of every fur, feather, and hue. I hope to leave this world a better place for my children.

And when this world becomes weary, with all of this life's cares, I often look at my little knife (it's my knife, now) and I hold it in my hands. I can almost see and feel the one who owned this lovely piece of the past. So I pray...for him or her, for us as a nation, and for each family who holds a loved-one dear.

This little knife was laying in my yard, long before there was a yard. And long before I found it, someone else held it, millennia ago. If this knife survived, perhaps we, as a people, will survive, too.

Father in heaven, let us never forget that You hold us in the palm of Your hand. Let us remember that we are literally carved in the palm of your hand. We are safe, in an unsafe world, simply by placing our trust in you.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time for Humility

Hello friends,

In a little over 2 weeks, I will get my first retirement check...my social security. I'm 62, and I'm not going to see 35 again. I've been told I don't look my age, and though my husband hates when I say this, I think that I do. It's true that my hair is still a red-gold, with a hand full of silver running through it, but I have to admit, I miss 35.

At 35 I married the love of my life. He is still the love of my life, as I am his. He still has that twinkle in his eyes, that I first fell in love with twenty-eight years ago. We've been through some hard times, especially as a military family, but we've made it through still in love.

Our children are grown, and wonderful. We've been blessed, and I believe that God has had His hand of safety and favor upon us. No, not because of anything that we have done, but because of His unfathomable grace. How is it that He would bless us? I'll never know on this earth.

I read recently that a certain person, who is constantly being interviewed, and is considered to be quite a political pundit, says that there is no evidence of God in the universe. Religion, he says, is like a drug for the unthinking masses. Well, I say to him, you are not very original, and Karl Marx said it better.

He was wrong, and so are you. Religion is not that wooden bench that you warm on Sunday. It is not that building that crouches beneath a cement cross. Religion is the heart and soul of living and loving. It is a hand that reaches out to the needy. It is the soul that reaches out on the Internet, who shouts to the earth, GOD IS REAL!!!!

God is as real as your breath that you can only feel, but not see. He is as real as the blue of the sky. God is as real as a child's whisper, "Mommy, I love you." God is real. It's this world that is false.

I feel sorry for that pseudo-intellectual snob, who hangs out at the Playboy mansion. Now that's real...all those misled girls with silicone implants. That's real...a group of drugged, lost souls, who have forgotten what real truly means.

Real is the look I see in my husband's eyes that tells me just how young and beautiful I am. Real is the laughter in our home, and real is its warmth. Real is the Light and Grace and Forgiveness of Christ on the Cross. Real is the feeling of love that He fills me with, late at night.

Is God real? You bet He is. Is He real to you? That is a question that you must answer for yourself.

God bless and keep you.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org

A Time of Confusion

Hello friends,

This is a difficult day for me. No doubt about it. For my friends from other lands, the American people have been taking part in the longest and most confusing primary (before the actual election) in our nation's history. For folks who don't know, an election primary season is a period of time where the American people vote for the candidate whom they would like to lead their party in the presidential election. That way, there will (hopefully) be only two candidates running for office, for president.

So, today, when it looks like the only candidate who understands the American people, and the suffering of the poor, has probably lost the nomination for the highest office in the land; obviously I am a bit depressed, since my candidate seems to have come to the end of her road. This makes me very sad. It also scares me.

You see, I'm a conservative who is also a realist. I know that few governments really care about the poor. I am a Christian, also, and I try to live by the Word of God, in the Bible. The Apostle Paul said, "True Religion is caring for the widows and orphans." I believe that we are commanded to do so. Only one candidate really understands what that means, Hillary Clinton.

John McCain, who keeps calling himself a conservative, believes that if you give enough money to corporations, and you give them all the tax breaks, then the corporate hierarchy will have a sudden flash of compassion, and declare, "Hey, we must take care of the people! Let's feed the poor! Let's care about the widows and the orphans."

Yeah. We all believe that, don't we? People with all the money caring for the poor. Ha! Any idiot can see the hypocrisy in that belief. It hurts my heart. As a conservative, I believe in moderation, loyalty, a clear definition of right and wrong, and a government that lives by fixed principals. But I guess I must be a bad conservative, because I believe that we are commanded by God to care about, and care for, the poor.

Let's not forget that we are at war; that we have thousands of young people in a foreign land, which hates our very existence. They are being slaughtered, maimed, and hidden, and they were young children when this war started. McCain seems to think we all believe that a 100 year war would be a great idea; while Obama swears that we'll be out of the carnage, and safer, in months.

Well, I have news for both of them. First of all, I am strongly against a 100 year war. It didn't work for the French and English, in the fourteenth and fifteenth century, and it won't work for us. And that immediate, happy withdrawal? Yeah! That will work. Our troops will be safe, because the extremists will simply stand back and let us leave. In fact, they'll carry our stuff to the airplane, so we don't forget anything. What a childish plan!

Obama is a liberal, who believes things happen, because he wishes them to. Oh, he is charismatic, lyrical, and sweeps people away with dramatic speeches, but he has never convinced me that he cares for those less fortunate. And he still hasn't shown me a plan. I have two questions for Obama: how, and then what?

All through these primaries there have been the vultures of the American press -- often referred to as talking heads -- who have made it clear that country people are "under educated" and terribly ignorant. We're bitter, Obama says, and as a result, we rely on guns, religion, and bigotry. Gee, thanks. How understanding and without bitterness you are. Oh, and what tolerance you show.

Moving right along, let's take a walk on the campuses at major universities, and see the great intelligence displayed by the so-called educated. Such a bunch of busy bees. Yes, a collective -- something like a bee-hive -- with a hive-like personality. Yes, let's be governed by a consensus. How about government by a committee, for a committee, and of the committee? It's a little kingdom of people who are anesthetized to make uninformed choices that never hurt themselves, but they do hurt those who need help the most; yet do not receive it.

With all of my being, I hate artifice. Jesus referred to "hypocrites," a Greek expression that referred to "pretenders" in a play, who are not themselves. Dishonesty makes me really rankle. Integrity and moral courage are rare. But why is it so? I don't know. I only know that it is a lonely life for those who live by honest principles.

So, now we have an opportunist running against an orator, neither of whom care much about the people who voted for them. You see, it's people, not governments that they have been called to serve. But it is not the people whom they serve. It is themselves.

I simply want a president who is a human being, who loves this country more than the power they may wield. I remember Katrina, and the masses of Americans who were left to die...men, women, and children, who were abandoned; and that vision changed my life forever. I couldn't save them; but I could promise them that I would not forget. Every day, I ask God to vindicate them, and to hold those who are responsible for disregarding them, to His judgement.

My heart, at this time, goes out to Hillary Clinton, Bill, and Chelsea, who have devoted their lives in service to those who have no voice. A vote may count. It is certainly an opinion that is cast; but it doesn't buy food or milk. It doesn't create jobs; nor does it provide a better life for your children.

Hillary Clinton is a woman of flesh and blood, with all the failings that each of us share. We make mistakes. We forget time lines. We stumble. But if we are human, and we place our lives under God's will, we care and we act. I don't believe that either surviving candidate cares, but I do. So, I have been praying that God will grant me the grace to accept the things that I cannot change.

I think that I have never seen such fortitude, as I have in Hillary Clinton. Nor have I seen such courage under fire, and that is what I want my girls to be. I believe that one day, when she faces our Lord, that he will say, Hillary, you have fought the good fight; you have won the race; welcome into the joy of your Lord. You have won My heart!

My girls will be fine. They have their college degrees. A bright future awaits them, but not for most in our community. One day, if we do not change as Americans, God will turn us over to our enemies, those false friends with whom we already sleep, and they will defeat us, without firing a shot. I'm no prophet, but that is what I fear.

Father in heaven, please guide me, and help me to listen to your voice. Grant me the grace to desire truth, and then embrace it. May I seek Your will, and then follow. And, Lord, protect all of us from the enemy that we have become to ourselves.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org

A Time for Sanity

Hello friends,

You won't see it, but I'm writing in a very large font. I will fix this, so that those with 20/20 vision won't have to read it from across the room. I've been watching MSNBC's coverage of the Pennsylvania democratic primary. I was raised in politics, on a very low scale, but I have helped the unknown become the known, and I have seen them crash and fail.

I've seen so many people who get to Washington, or to their State House, and I've seen them forget why the heck they are there. I've voted Republican, and I've voted Democratic. I have agreed on principle, and I have disagreed on opinions that I found not in the best interest of our country.

I love my country, and I love its laws. I've seen the laws celebrated, and I've seen them disregarded. As a government employee many years back, I have had pressure put on me to let things slide past honesty and integrity. I have never surrendered, and I was pretty mouthy about things that I felt were wrong.

So what does a Primary in Pennsylvania mean to a middle-aged woman in Virginia? I will tell you. In an age of capitulation, where women are still marginalized, I've been watching a woman who simply won't give up.

This is a virtue that I have taught my daughters. It's a code that I choose to live by, myself. I believe in fighting for what one believes, until the last primary vote is counted. Were I in Hillary Clinton's place, I would step up to the plate and swing the bat at each and every pitch. And when the last pitch is thrown, I would go down swinging.

Whether one is a Republican or a Democrat, surely we can admire Hillary Clinton's perseverance in the face of adversity. She has had men shout, "Go back to the kitchen!" Or, worse yet, "Iron my shirts!" And there have been worse things on the web.

I do wonder, however, do those men really think that? Are they talking about their mother? Their sisters? Or their own daughters? And, what about their wives? Do they really think so low of the mother of their children? Have we gone insane in this country? Or are we just stupid? Have we come so far? Or are we sliding back into the nineteenth century?

I have raised my daughters to be strong women. As a result of this, they are graduating at the top of their class. Both of them are graduating from college with honors. And I and my husband, could not be more proud. My daughters have been taught to be outspoken, not only by me, but also by their father. They have been taught to seek excellence, and to never give up in the face of adversity.

I've heard one commentator, who hates Hillary Clinton, claim, "I don't want MY daughters to grow up to be Hillary Clinton!" Well, of course you don't. You want your daughters to grow up to be themselves!!!

What nonsense all this is! Are we not a thinking people? Are we not all able to make up our own minds, without losing our heads?! I had a friend, once, who told me that she goes to Church to be told how to think, how to vote, and how to feel. Can you believe that? How can anyone live that way? I'm a fighter, who can be annoying, but I will go down swinging. No one, but God tells me what to do.

My guide, through all of this, is still the Bible. God does not demand our allegiance or love at the point of a sword. It is He who says, in the Book of Isaiah, "Come, let us reason together..." So, let us reason.

God our Father, grant us the humility to seek your Word in all things, especially in this election year. May we never forget that we live in a country where all men and women can vote in a free society. May we think and vote, by Your grace. And please, Father, may we never forget your Son who died for us all.

Let us remember the words of the Lord of the universe, when he proclaimed, "My Kingdom is not of this world." And may we live by His grace, as we go about selecting the next President. Let us not forget that You control the lot. And when we are disappointed in the outcome, as many of us will be, help us to remember that this, too, is Your will.

Lord, forgive our country for the sins we have committed, and may you grant us the President we need, rather than the one we deserve.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org

A Time to Celebrate Life

Hello friends,

Today is my birthday. I'm 62 years young. It's amazing how my hopes and dreams have changed in the last 40 years. I used to want to sky dive, ice skate, become a police officer, become a movie star, and a host of other fascinating endeavors.

Today, I can honestly say that my life is full. My dreams are more direct and filled with hope. You see, I want to live another day. I want to awaken and sip that first cup of coffee with the man that I have loved nearly half of my life. I want to laugh and design gardens with my children - my beautiful girls, who are now women. I want to play with our puppies and chase them down the hall. I want to be with my family for many years to come.

It's true that I am a writer, semi-successful, yet I couldn't pay the rent with the money I earn. However, some years are more lucrative than others, and that is usually when I go wild and plan another garden. God is good. Very good. He supplies our needs on a daily basis. I don't believe in self-actualization (just trying to spell it is a challenge). I was once self actualized. That lasted about 15 minutes, and then I was crying out to God for salvation.

That's another thing. Salvation through the sacrifice of Jesus, is the greatest gift in my life. And then, to think that God would also give me the love of my life and the sweetest, most devoted daughters any woman could want. These are the real gifts of God. As the Bible says, he (or she) who depends on wealth for happiness has received their reward. He also said that with God all things are possible.

The things I don't like on my 62nd birthday are legion. Here are a few:

T.V. Hell at 2:00 in the morning; commercials that fail to make me laugh, smile, or cry; T.V. commentators, whose opinion passes for news; pornography, which assaults me and other writers on the web; liars, who pretend one thing and do another; a false heart...you either love someone, and are loyal...or you don't love at all; a thief, especially one who steals from family or friends.

The things I love: honesty; integrity; honor; and truth; a heart that is true; a mind that is centered on honor and truth; laughter, especially at myself; warm hugs; kindness; respect, both given and received; forgiveness (which, unfortunately, may happen in the heart and have to stay there for safety's sake).

There are many, many more things that I love...the birds and critters in my garden; lilies and wildflower gardens; the sounds of water gardens, the bird songs, pouring rain, and the sounds of my loved ones' voices.

There are things that I have lost, in my middle years. I've lost my sense of smell, due to neurological issues. I miss it. Think about it. Think about the scents that you love: the smell of your spouse's hair or cologne; the scent of a flower, and all of those things that make your mouth water. Chocolate. Yum. Hot bread, right from the oven; melting butter, bakeries and baked goods. Oh, I could go on and on.

Do you realize that every person has a unique scent, and someone loves that about you? It is said that memories are stimulated by a familiar scent. Walk down the hall of an elementary school, and see if you don't smell the mixture of crayons, sweat, and library paste. See if it does not take you back.

Today is the day that I officially retire. That's laughable, quite frankly, since I have been unable to do many things for a long time. However, I look at my retirement as a time of renewal. I will write more and submit more manuscripts. I'm used to rejection by now, so what have I to fear? I will trust in God more, and I will strive to put Him first in my life. I will love my husband even more, if that is possible. I will cherish my children even more than I ever have. I will close the door on my painful past, and I will celebrate life here and now. The future belongs to God, but He has given me the great gift of today. So, today, I will celebrate my life, with all my struggles and triumphs. I will thank God, today for each of His gifts.

So, look around you, in your world. See the gifts that God has given you. And, if you can only see the gift of your own life, then celebrate that. Celebrate your life. You are precious to God, and frankly, even though I don't know who you are, you are precious to me.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time for Clarity

Hello friends,

I can't believe that it has been over a week since I have written. Much has happened. You see, I will be a woman of 62, next Monday, and along with my known medical problems, I have a few unexplainable medical issues. I faint. And sometimes I can't make up my mind as to whether I should faint or throw up. This has happened twice in the last week.

This terrifies my family. My husband said the other day, that I will be looking fine, feeling fine, talking, laughing...then BOOM! My face turns suddenly gray or green. Then I fall to the ground in a dead faint. My next move is to shout, "I'm going to throw up!" Usually I do both.

These symptoms can mean a lot of things. It could be silent heart disease. It could be small strokes. It could be nothing, and it could be something. I've had doctors who have had differing opinions. One wrote, "Patient claims to have fainting spells. I believe that there is little physically wrong with this lady."

Thanks, Doc. Now that medical science has proven you wrong, I would love to hear what you "believe" today. Sadly, if a woman has symptoms, it's usually a number of things, according to doctors like these:

1. She's hysterical
2. She's having a panic attack
3. It's all in her head

Need I say more? In spite of a tendency to brush away the medical concerns of women, I also have seen this same attitude toward men. It is inexcusable!

I am very blessed to have a compassionate family doctor, who has little or no ego. She is a wonderful doctor, who really keeps up with the newest studies and medications, and she respects me.

Why are some doctors uncaring (yawn), hurried (I have real patients to care for, don't waste my time). Yes, I've had that said to me. Oh, and my all time favorite comment in my medical records from years ago: "This is an obese white woman..." At the time I weighed 134 pounds!

I've been fired by a doctor, who said that my asthma and diabetes were too complicated. Then he told me that diabetics with asthma DIE! Thank you doctor. He was pushing 70, and I had the incredible urge to ask him if he had picked out his cemetery plot. Whew! Finding a good doctor is rough.

Now, changing the subject, I want to go on record, that I am offended by the "bitter" remarks of presidential candidate, Obama. Gee...it's been years since I have straddled a rifle while holding my Bible, as I bitterly misjudged people who are different than I. Let me see if I can remember when that was. Oh yes! NEVER!

Is this man for real? Or should he be awarded an Oscar for a stellar performance as someone who cares? If not, I'd like a little clarity here from Mr. Obama. No, I don't live in Pennsylvania, but I do live in a rural area. Many of us are educated as well as conservative. In my family; however we do like straight talk, and we have voted Democratic when we felt that it was good for the country.

So, Senator Obama, why do you think that I worship God because I'm bitter? Is that why you go to church? Why do you think we cling to our guns? Could this be the bitter judgement of us, which you state that we feel towards others?

Here is the bottom line for me. In Matthew 12:34b, Jesus says, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." So, okay, Mr. Obama, what was in your heart when you judged us? That's all. A little clarity here, and you can drop that defensive attitude, too.

Father in heaven, this is a lesson for all of us. Grant us the grace to speak kindly of others. Heal us of our prejudices, and grant us the grace to keep our mouths shut about people we know nothing about. Give us the grace, Lord, to admit when we are wrong.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time to Wonder

Hello friends,

My eyes are pretty dim these days, and my fear is that I will lose my eyesight. There is such a blur of words, and the lights have streaks coming from them. At least, this is what I see. I can "touch type" without looking at the keys, but I also have to look on my new keyboard, since every board is just a little bit different. So, I look to make sure I don't miss a single letter.

Which reminds me...Jesus said that He had come to fulfill the Law (that would be the Law of Moses, which is technically the Law of God), not destroy it. In fact, He said that as long as the earth stands, not one "jot" or one "tittle" (the smallest stoke of the pen) would pass away.

So, as I sit here typing, squinting my eyes so that I can make out the letters, I think about how God cares about the tiniest pen stoke, the smallest sparrow, and every breath that I take. So, then, I wonder. What is God doing that I cannot see? If my eyes were 20/20, as they once were, do you suppose I would see the infinite? What is God doing that we cannot see?

My writing is an example of two frames of understanding. I'm a published author, without a published book. I have my own website, which is number one on a Google search of my name. I have a blog, in which I frequently write. My head knowledge tells me that my website and my blog are visited pretty regularly. Many of my stories and articles are all across the web. I'm known, somewhat. But what does that mean? What is God doing that I cannot see?

Once, when I was an invalid and pregnant with my youngest child, I was forgotten. People who knew, didn't want to know. I was a stranger in a strange land, you might say. I was so very lonely, so I focused on my relationship with God. I made a promise to Him, that just as I was forgotten, I would not forget others. I told Him that when I got the chance, I would reach out to those who feel forgotten. This is why I chose to do what I do.

So, in all of this, which is really small stuff within a vast universe, I wonder what God is doing. I'm certain that He is doing more than I could ever imagine. I suppose I will never know, exactly why I am here tapping away on my keyboard, trying to share my faith in Him, in some small way.

I talk to God, and I tell Him, that sometimes it feels as though I am standing still. That I am a creature, His child, who needs to hear from Her father. I tell Him that I need a hug, words of encouragement, and a knowing as to what He is doing that I cannot see. He is doing something, and nothing He does is small.

So, now I wonder, if I lose my sight, will I then finally see with understanding, what He is doing to the hearts of those who read my message? I wonder how He is using me.

Father in Heaven, You have given each of us gifts to share, whether it be a great medical discovery, or simply a kind word. Which gift is the greatest? The kind word or the great discovery?

Jesus said, a cup of water given to the least of those who follow Him, will bring rich rewards. I doubt that He was talking about money. The reward is not now, this is merely the journey, and I travel in His bloody footprints, striving to honor Him in what I do.

Father in Heaven, here I write, holding a cup of water, desiring to do Your will. Please, Father, help me to understand what you are doing that I cannot see.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time to Look Within

Hello friends,

Who am I? I ask myself. Who is this person that I feel inside? Who is this person who dances gracefully in my heart, but whose feet can't seem to follow? Who is this person who can watch a sunset from beginning to end, on one exhaled breath?

Who am I, now that the stars grow dim, right before my eyes. I miss them each time I am able to walk outside at night, and look up at the sky, only to be disappointed by a blurry, milky smear.

I did, however, see something wonderful last night, as I let our dog run out and take his trot out to his tree. You may laugh. But these are the times when unexpected beauty often unfolds. Out in the darkened eastern sky, there was the moon, a small sliver of red, with a tiny line of red encompassing the entire edge. The definition of this lunar event is beyond me; however what it did to my heart was amazing. You see, when I'm all alone, and I see some incredible event of nature, I'm quite certain that every beautiful thing was created just for me.

This is not my typical blog entry. I feel as though I have been neglecting the most important relationship in my life...my relationship with Jesus. For me, a relationship requires that I talk to Him, praise Him, and most of all, that I listen.

It is easy for me to become depressed. It was a family tradition when I was growing up. I'm talking - Van Gogh cutting off his ear and sending it to his lady love - depression! You think I jest, but I can promise you that the theme song for my family was The Twilight Zone! So, when I feel depressed, I often don't recognize it right away. But when I do, that's the time to renew my relationship with God.

So, here I go, unsophisticated, non-poetical, and unknowing what I am about, today. Off I go to my treadmill, and my dad-blasted MP3 Player (which I will never fully understand how to use), and with as little cursing as possible, I will walk that mile, just for Him.

Father, we all have these days when we long for good news to heal our aching souls. We often equate these longings, as a longing for the things of this world. Something to tell us we are worth the breath that we take. However, as we bend our will to Yours, grant us the grace to know that our hope is in You.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time to Garden

Hello friends,

It looks as though we are going to have a great spring, at least so far. Last year, we had an early flush of blooms, then a heavy freeze that lasted for over a week. All of our beautiful blooms wound up looking like the mark-down produce bin of the supermarket.

So, we do not have a great show, this spring, especially from our flowering pears. The crab apples bloom later, as do the red buds, so, if we are blessed to have milder temperatures, then the crab apples and red buds will burst into bloom very soon.

The white daffodils are just beginning to shrivel up, and the later ones, like the ones with bright orange or peach colored centers, and some late blooming fancies are still waving like flags in the garden. The roses are going to be beautiful this year, if the weather holds out.

A particular blessing is our Canadian Hemlock "live" Christmas tree, which has made it through winter, still alive. We are debating on where we should place it. The ground will need to be prepared carefully, and it will need the soil to remain loose and moist.

We also have 5 Thuja Green Giants, which will be planted in a kind of copse, so that the birds and we will all be able to enjoy the fast growing beauty of this evergreen tree. We have other evergreens, which we have potted, and it was worth their lives (really) just to make it through the winter.

Every spring I go through this...a kind of hopeful renewal of life. It invigorates me, and now that my new medications have made it possible for me to take part, I feel almost reborn.

So, I was wondering how I might encourage a renewal of my spirit? Have I allowed God to enter my life and sweep out the old cobwebs of my former thoughts, allowing real truth to be ushered in? This is something for me to take before Him, with humility, because I think that may be part of my present struggle with life as it is, as opposed to what I wish it were.

I do struggle against much of our present existence. As I get older, I have begun to realize that those who are supposed to care, don't. And the truth is being reinvented every day. What if God gave us what we deserve? Do you think that we could stand that? I don't think that we would like it. We can be thankful that God rewards our efforts, even if we fail, like a missionary who has not a single convert, after years of service. God rewards the service, not the result.

This is a good thing for me to think about, as I do my best to not be a part of the problem. I may not be able to fix things, but I know who can. I can only wonder what His solution will be.

Father in heaven, please forgive us for the things we fail to do, that we should do; and forgive us most of all for the things we do, which we should not have done.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
http://www.entertainingangels.org/
http://www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com/

A Time for Remembering Charlton Heston

Hello friends,

All of us have memories. Some are good, and some are not so good. The following memory that I wish to share with you, is one of the most precious memories of my life..

Charlton Heston: The Autograph By Jaye Lewis

It was June of 1968, and I was fleeing for my life, carrying my two month old, baby daughter. I had been rescued by a compassionate church group in Key West, Florida, and my brother had managed to scrape together enough money for the only seat left on an airplane traveling from Atlanta to Detroit, Michigan. It was first class. I’d never flown first class, before. Not being a drinker, I declined the offer of champagne with breakfast.

My first marriage had proven to be a nearly deadly experience, and as I flew home to be with my parents, I felt very agitated. Anything, God, I silently prayed. Anything to break the monotony of my own tortured thoughts.

At that moment, my baby bobbed over toward a smoker, a bit of drool dripping from her chin. As she studied him with wide-eyed wonder, she let out an enormous belch, right in his face! It was all I could do to keep from laughing! The man gave a disgusted grunt, and stepping over us, he retreated down the isle into the back of the plane. I never saw him again.

Behind me, across the isle, I heard a man laughing. Turning to look at him, I saw a handsome man with a beet red face, nearly helpless with amusement. Our eyes locked, and we both cracked up.

“Out of the mouths of babes!” Said my conspirator, with a wicked twinkle in his eye. We laughed for some time, and then we began to visit.

He was heading home to visit his parents in Detroit, Michigan. My daughter and I were also on our way home to stay with my parents, who lived just south of Detroit.

“What a beautiful child,” he said, gazing at my little girl, with her soft dark curls and her big brown eyes. I agreed. Something about this man was vaguely familiar, but I just couldn’t place him. We talked. He was warm, kind, and funny. I was pensive from time to time, but it was a relief to have a kindred soul to distract me from my troubles.

I introduced myself, and he told me that his friends called him “Chuck.” As we were visiting, I just could not get out of my mind, that I knew this man from somewhere. I certainly knew no one who traveled first class, and since I was raised in the south, it would have been unlikely that we had ever met. He was traveling from Los Angeles. I was traveling from Key West, Florida, and we had no similar points of reference.

His voice was mesmerizing. It was so familiar. Strong and evenly tempered. Where had I heard that voice? All of a sudden, I knew him! I was sitting across from a very famous man. Charlton Heston! My God! I couldn’t believe it, and we were talking like we were old friends! Should I tell him that I recognized him? And what could I say?!

I just loved you in The Ten Commandments?! How stupid would that sound? Tell him that he was the famous Charlton Heston? I don’t think so. I was pretty certain that he knew exactly who he was. I didn’t think that he needed me to inform him. So, I never said a word.

He was charming and kind. He held my little girl, and he played the typical baby games, speaking to her in a warm and coaxing way. She crowed in his face and giggled. I don’t remember what we talked about. Ordinary things. We visited for three and a half hours. I didn’t tell him that I was fleeing for my life, and he never told me that he was a famous movie star.

All too soon our trip was over. The plane landed and we both got our carry-ons. Mine was a diaper bag. His was something more Samsonite. He gathered his things, and I picked up my infant daughter. He left the plane to be greeted by the press and cameras. I left to obscurity. We both hugged our families, and my last sight of him was to see him smile and nod his head at me, as he began to answer questions from someone holding a microphone. I smiled back, and we parted forever.

I didn’t watch the news. I didn’t see the interview. I don’t know the rest of his story. I did tell my parents, who doubted that the man was famous. After all, on the plane we were simply two travelers, passing time. Somehow, this event was a pivotal point in my life. I had respected the privacy of a famous man, simply because I could. After eleven months of married hell, he had made me feel normal again.

Now, since he has recently passed-on, I like to think of a man who gave me my first glimpse into a normal life, one where I could expect to be treated with respect. He didn’t have to be kind. He could have been aloof and superior, but somehow I don’t think that was a part of his character. Often in the tumultuous days of my bitter divorce, I would think of that very famous man, who touched my life with grace and humor, and then I was able to feel normal again.

Six months after this incident, my Dad watched an interview with the famous Charlton Heston on a nighttime talk show. He was talking about the pleasures and hazards of being recognized by his fans, while going about his personal life. Charlton Heston shared a story of one of his most special “fan” experiences.

It seems that he was traveling east with a young lady, who was going home with her baby. She seemed troubled at times, but he had thoroughly enjoyed their visit.

“What made that encounter so special?” the interviewer inquired.

“She didn’t ask me for my autograph,” Mr. Heston replied. “She made me feel totally normal. She didn’t recognize me at all.”

The next day, my Dad couldn’t wait to tell me about the talk show. He urged me to write to Mr. Heston, but I refused.

“Dad, trust me. Thousands of women are writing to him as we speak!”

Now, nearly forty years later, it occurs to me, how blessed I am that I did not invade the privacy of that famous man. He gave me a precious memory, and, by the way, he did give me his autograph. He wrote his autograph upon my life!

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.com
www.entertainingnagelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com