A Time for Perspective

Hello friends,

Gosh, it's been awhile since I wrote. Much has happened. Illness in the family. College graduations. New jobs. Retirement. I'm older, and not always liking it. I don't like that I'm slowing down, and sometimes it seems like a crawl. My body is doing all sorts of things that disturb me, amaze me, and often makes me laugh.

I want to climb a tree again...without falling out. I want to skip up the street (hey, I was a great skipper) without falling down. I want to walk for hours and never become tired. I want my feet not to hurt. Nor my back. Nor my hands. What must it be like to be pain free? And, oh yes, it would be nice to be 130 pounds again. When was that? Heck, I just might skip up the street, if I could be 150 pounds!!!

These are all small things. Unimportant to anyone but me. But here is my perspective. I'm breathing, very well. My heart is pretty good. I've adjusted pretty well to the medications that make this possible. I want skin that's petal-smooth, eyes that can see the stars, and a body that moves exactly the way it used to.

Again, my perspective...I have lived, laughed, and cried through an amazing history. Where once an automobile drove less than 60 miles per hour, we now have space ships landing on Mars. I have lived through too many wars. I have seen too much pride in our government leaders...folly, parading as wisdom.

I was raised alongside the ocean, and I remember when it was clean and a brilliant blue. I have seen the blue of the ocean meet the Gulf waters in a swirling mist of green and blue. I have seen, with clear vision, a star-filled night explode with tiny points of light. I have lived in a world that did not threaten to choke me with every breath. And I have seen honor, which is a rare value these days.

There are many things to confuse in these times of double-speak. There are many things that assault our eyes, our mind, and our soul. There are things that should be left unsaid, but of course, that is not the fashion of our times.

During the last seven plus years I have seen much to alarm me, shock me, and just plain horrify me. I am not satisfied with a government that I voted to place in office. For a woman who doesn't drink, how did this corruption slip past me?

Yet still, there is much perspective. As I sit at my computer, on the desk before me is a curious kind of rock. At least it is certainly fashioned of rock. It's not very big, but it is beautiful. Understanding that someone loved and used this remarkable instrument, gives me goose-bumps. I am touching an ancient tool, which someone else held in his or her hands, eons ago.

The owner of this tool has been gone long before there was any knowledge of civilization, that we know today. For this stone knife is a part of history long past. It is fashioned in such detail, with impressions for fingers. The tip is dull, after millennia in the earth, yet the place where a bone handle might have been tied is as clear as the palm of my hand. This knife or scraper fits a small hand...my hand. It may have been a present for a youth or a spouse or a young girl. It was once held, as I hold it, by someone who treasured it.

Virginia, where I live has a wealth of history hiding within its soil. People lived and loved and dreamed, right here, under my feet, thousands of years ago. I don't know a single gardener or farmer, in my region, who doesn't have dozens of curious tools from long ago. I found this little knife right in my own back yard.

When this life that we live in, with all of its hypocrisy, lies, and disappointments, is long past, I hope that we have left something of worth behind. I hope we leave clean air and startlingly beautiful animals of every fur, feather, and hue. I hope to leave this world a better place for my children.

And when this world becomes weary, with all of this life's cares, I often look at my little knife (it's my knife, now) and I hold it in my hands. I can almost see and feel the one who owned this lovely piece of the past. So I pray...for him or her, for us as a nation, and for each family who holds a loved-one dear.

This little knife was laying in my yard, long before there was a yard. And long before I found it, someone else held it, millennia ago. If this knife survived, perhaps we, as a people, will survive, too.

Father in heaven, let us never forget that You hold us in the palm of Your hand. Let us remember that we are literally carved in the palm of your hand. We are safe, in an unsafe world, simply by placing our trust in you.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time for Humility

Hello friends,

In a little over 2 weeks, I will get my first retirement check...my social security. I'm 62, and I'm not going to see 35 again. I've been told I don't look my age, and though my husband hates when I say this, I think that I do. It's true that my hair is still a red-gold, with a hand full of silver running through it, but I have to admit, I miss 35.

At 35 I married the love of my life. He is still the love of my life, as I am his. He still has that twinkle in his eyes, that I first fell in love with twenty-eight years ago. We've been through some hard times, especially as a military family, but we've made it through still in love.

Our children are grown, and wonderful. We've been blessed, and I believe that God has had His hand of safety and favor upon us. No, not because of anything that we have done, but because of His unfathomable grace. How is it that He would bless us? I'll never know on this earth.

I read recently that a certain person, who is constantly being interviewed, and is considered to be quite a political pundit, says that there is no evidence of God in the universe. Religion, he says, is like a drug for the unthinking masses. Well, I say to him, you are not very original, and Karl Marx said it better.

He was wrong, and so are you. Religion is not that wooden bench that you warm on Sunday. It is not that building that crouches beneath a cement cross. Religion is the heart and soul of living and loving. It is a hand that reaches out to the needy. It is the soul that reaches out on the Internet, who shouts to the earth, GOD IS REAL!!!!

God is as real as your breath that you can only feel, but not see. He is as real as the blue of the sky. God is as real as a child's whisper, "Mommy, I love you." God is real. It's this world that is false.

I feel sorry for that pseudo-intellectual snob, who hangs out at the Playboy mansion. Now that's real...all those misled girls with silicone implants. That's real...a group of drugged, lost souls, who have forgotten what real truly means.

Real is the look I see in my husband's eyes that tells me just how young and beautiful I am. Real is the laughter in our home, and real is its warmth. Real is the Light and Grace and Forgiveness of Christ on the Cross. Real is the feeling of love that He fills me with, late at night.

Is God real? You bet He is. Is He real to you? That is a question that you must answer for yourself.

God bless and keep you.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org

A Time of Confusion

Hello friends,

This is a difficult day for me. No doubt about it. For my friends from other lands, the American people have been taking part in the longest and most confusing primary (before the actual election) in our nation's history. For folks who don't know, an election primary season is a period of time where the American people vote for the candidate whom they would like to lead their party in the presidential election. That way, there will (hopefully) be only two candidates running for office, for president.

So, today, when it looks like the only candidate who understands the American people, and the suffering of the poor, has probably lost the nomination for the highest office in the land; obviously I am a bit depressed, since my candidate seems to have come to the end of her road. This makes me very sad. It also scares me.

You see, I'm a conservative who is also a realist. I know that few governments really care about the poor. I am a Christian, also, and I try to live by the Word of God, in the Bible. The Apostle Paul said, "True Religion is caring for the widows and orphans." I believe that we are commanded to do so. Only one candidate really understands what that means, Hillary Clinton.

John McCain, who keeps calling himself a conservative, believes that if you give enough money to corporations, and you give them all the tax breaks, then the corporate hierarchy will have a sudden flash of compassion, and declare, "Hey, we must take care of the people! Let's feed the poor! Let's care about the widows and the orphans."

Yeah. We all believe that, don't we? People with all the money caring for the poor. Ha! Any idiot can see the hypocrisy in that belief. It hurts my heart. As a conservative, I believe in moderation, loyalty, a clear definition of right and wrong, and a government that lives by fixed principals. But I guess I must be a bad conservative, because I believe that we are commanded by God to care about, and care for, the poor.

Let's not forget that we are at war; that we have thousands of young people in a foreign land, which hates our very existence. They are being slaughtered, maimed, and hidden, and they were young children when this war started. McCain seems to think we all believe that a 100 year war would be a great idea; while Obama swears that we'll be out of the carnage, and safer, in months.

Well, I have news for both of them. First of all, I am strongly against a 100 year war. It didn't work for the French and English, in the fourteenth and fifteenth century, and it won't work for us. And that immediate, happy withdrawal? Yeah! That will work. Our troops will be safe, because the extremists will simply stand back and let us leave. In fact, they'll carry our stuff to the airplane, so we don't forget anything. What a childish plan!

Obama is a liberal, who believes things happen, because he wishes them to. Oh, he is charismatic, lyrical, and sweeps people away with dramatic speeches, but he has never convinced me that he cares for those less fortunate. And he still hasn't shown me a plan. I have two questions for Obama: how, and then what?

All through these primaries there have been the vultures of the American press -- often referred to as talking heads -- who have made it clear that country people are "under educated" and terribly ignorant. We're bitter, Obama says, and as a result, we rely on guns, religion, and bigotry. Gee, thanks. How understanding and without bitterness you are. Oh, and what tolerance you show.

Moving right along, let's take a walk on the campuses at major universities, and see the great intelligence displayed by the so-called educated. Such a bunch of busy bees. Yes, a collective -- something like a bee-hive -- with a hive-like personality. Yes, let's be governed by a consensus. How about government by a committee, for a committee, and of the committee? It's a little kingdom of people who are anesthetized to make uninformed choices that never hurt themselves, but they do hurt those who need help the most; yet do not receive it.

With all of my being, I hate artifice. Jesus referred to "hypocrites," a Greek expression that referred to "pretenders" in a play, who are not themselves. Dishonesty makes me really rankle. Integrity and moral courage are rare. But why is it so? I don't know. I only know that it is a lonely life for those who live by honest principles.

So, now we have an opportunist running against an orator, neither of whom care much about the people who voted for them. You see, it's people, not governments that they have been called to serve. But it is not the people whom they serve. It is themselves.

I simply want a president who is a human being, who loves this country more than the power they may wield. I remember Katrina, and the masses of Americans who were left to die...men, women, and children, who were abandoned; and that vision changed my life forever. I couldn't save them; but I could promise them that I would not forget. Every day, I ask God to vindicate them, and to hold those who are responsible for disregarding them, to His judgement.

My heart, at this time, goes out to Hillary Clinton, Bill, and Chelsea, who have devoted their lives in service to those who have no voice. A vote may count. It is certainly an opinion that is cast; but it doesn't buy food or milk. It doesn't create jobs; nor does it provide a better life for your children.

Hillary Clinton is a woman of flesh and blood, with all the failings that each of us share. We make mistakes. We forget time lines. We stumble. But if we are human, and we place our lives under God's will, we care and we act. I don't believe that either surviving candidate cares, but I do. So, I have been praying that God will grant me the grace to accept the things that I cannot change.

I think that I have never seen such fortitude, as I have in Hillary Clinton. Nor have I seen such courage under fire, and that is what I want my girls to be. I believe that one day, when she faces our Lord, that he will say, Hillary, you have fought the good fight; you have won the race; welcome into the joy of your Lord. You have won My heart!

My girls will be fine. They have their college degrees. A bright future awaits them, but not for most in our community. One day, if we do not change as Americans, God will turn us over to our enemies, those false friends with whom we already sleep, and they will defeat us, without firing a shot. I'm no prophet, but that is what I fear.

Father in heaven, please guide me, and help me to listen to your voice. Grant me the grace to desire truth, and then embrace it. May I seek Your will, and then follow. And, Lord, protect all of us from the enemy that we have become to ourselves.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org

A Time for Sanity

Hello friends,

You won't see it, but I'm writing in a very large font. I will fix this, so that those with 20/20 vision won't have to read it from across the room. I've been watching MSNBC's coverage of the Pennsylvania democratic primary. I was raised in politics, on a very low scale, but I have helped the unknown become the known, and I have seen them crash and fail.

I've seen so many people who get to Washington, or to their State House, and I've seen them forget why the heck they are there. I've voted Republican, and I've voted Democratic. I have agreed on principle, and I have disagreed on opinions that I found not in the best interest of our country.

I love my country, and I love its laws. I've seen the laws celebrated, and I've seen them disregarded. As a government employee many years back, I have had pressure put on me to let things slide past honesty and integrity. I have never surrendered, and I was pretty mouthy about things that I felt were wrong.

So what does a Primary in Pennsylvania mean to a middle-aged woman in Virginia? I will tell you. In an age of capitulation, where women are still marginalized, I've been watching a woman who simply won't give up.

This is a virtue that I have taught my daughters. It's a code that I choose to live by, myself. I believe in fighting for what one believes, until the last primary vote is counted. Were I in Hillary Clinton's place, I would step up to the plate and swing the bat at each and every pitch. And when the last pitch is thrown, I would go down swinging.

Whether one is a Republican or a Democrat, surely we can admire Hillary Clinton's perseverance in the face of adversity. She has had men shout, "Go back to the kitchen!" Or, worse yet, "Iron my shirts!" And there have been worse things on the web.

I do wonder, however, do those men really think that? Are they talking about their mother? Their sisters? Or their own daughters? And, what about their wives? Do they really think so low of the mother of their children? Have we gone insane in this country? Or are we just stupid? Have we come so far? Or are we sliding back into the nineteenth century?

I have raised my daughters to be strong women. As a result of this, they are graduating at the top of their class. Both of them are graduating from college with honors. And I and my husband, could not be more proud. My daughters have been taught to be outspoken, not only by me, but also by their father. They have been taught to seek excellence, and to never give up in the face of adversity.

I've heard one commentator, who hates Hillary Clinton, claim, "I don't want MY daughters to grow up to be Hillary Clinton!" Well, of course you don't. You want your daughters to grow up to be themselves!!!

What nonsense all this is! Are we not a thinking people? Are we not all able to make up our own minds, without losing our heads?! I had a friend, once, who told me that she goes to Church to be told how to think, how to vote, and how to feel. Can you believe that? How can anyone live that way? I'm a fighter, who can be annoying, but I will go down swinging. No one, but God tells me what to do.

My guide, through all of this, is still the Bible. God does not demand our allegiance or love at the point of a sword. It is He who says, in the Book of Isaiah, "Come, let us reason together..." So, let us reason.

God our Father, grant us the humility to seek your Word in all things, especially in this election year. May we never forget that we live in a country where all men and women can vote in a free society. May we think and vote, by Your grace. And please, Father, may we never forget your Son who died for us all.

Let us remember the words of the Lord of the universe, when he proclaimed, "My Kingdom is not of this world." And may we live by His grace, as we go about selecting the next President. Let us not forget that You control the lot. And when we are disappointed in the outcome, as many of us will be, help us to remember that this, too, is Your will.

Lord, forgive our country for the sins we have committed, and may you grant us the President we need, rather than the one we deserve.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org

A Time to Celebrate Life

Hello friends,

Today is my birthday. I'm 62 years young. It's amazing how my hopes and dreams have changed in the last 40 years. I used to want to sky dive, ice skate, become a police officer, become a movie star, and a host of other fascinating endeavors.

Today, I can honestly say that my life is full. My dreams are more direct and filled with hope. You see, I want to live another day. I want to awaken and sip that first cup of coffee with the man that I have loved nearly half of my life. I want to laugh and design gardens with my children - my beautiful girls, who are now women. I want to play with our puppies and chase them down the hall. I want to be with my family for many years to come.

It's true that I am a writer, semi-successful, yet I couldn't pay the rent with the money I earn. However, some years are more lucrative than others, and that is usually when I go wild and plan another garden. God is good. Very good. He supplies our needs on a daily basis. I don't believe in self-actualization (just trying to spell it is a challenge). I was once self actualized. That lasted about 15 minutes, and then I was crying out to God for salvation.

That's another thing. Salvation through the sacrifice of Jesus, is the greatest gift in my life. And then, to think that God would also give me the love of my life and the sweetest, most devoted daughters any woman could want. These are the real gifts of God. As the Bible says, he (or she) who depends on wealth for happiness has received their reward. He also said that with God all things are possible.

The things I don't like on my 62nd birthday are legion. Here are a few:

T.V. Hell at 2:00 in the morning; commercials that fail to make me laugh, smile, or cry; T.V. commentators, whose opinion passes for news; pornography, which assaults me and other writers on the web; liars, who pretend one thing and do another; a false heart...you either love someone, and are loyal...or you don't love at all; a thief, especially one who steals from family or friends.

The things I love: honesty; integrity; honor; and truth; a heart that is true; a mind that is centered on honor and truth; laughter, especially at myself; warm hugs; kindness; respect, both given and received; forgiveness (which, unfortunately, may happen in the heart and have to stay there for safety's sake).

There are many, many more things that I love...the birds and critters in my garden; lilies and wildflower gardens; the sounds of water gardens, the bird songs, pouring rain, and the sounds of my loved ones' voices.

There are things that I have lost, in my middle years. I've lost my sense of smell, due to neurological issues. I miss it. Think about it. Think about the scents that you love: the smell of your spouse's hair or cologne; the scent of a flower, and all of those things that make your mouth water. Chocolate. Yum. Hot bread, right from the oven; melting butter, bakeries and baked goods. Oh, I could go on and on.

Do you realize that every person has a unique scent, and someone loves that about you? It is said that memories are stimulated by a familiar scent. Walk down the hall of an elementary school, and see if you don't smell the mixture of crayons, sweat, and library paste. See if it does not take you back.

Today is the day that I officially retire. That's laughable, quite frankly, since I have been unable to do many things for a long time. However, I look at my retirement as a time of renewal. I will write more and submit more manuscripts. I'm used to rejection by now, so what have I to fear? I will trust in God more, and I will strive to put Him first in my life. I will love my husband even more, if that is possible. I will cherish my children even more than I ever have. I will close the door on my painful past, and I will celebrate life here and now. The future belongs to God, but He has given me the great gift of today. So, today, I will celebrate my life, with all my struggles and triumphs. I will thank God, today for each of His gifts.

So, look around you, in your world. See the gifts that God has given you. And, if you can only see the gift of your own life, then celebrate that. Celebrate your life. You are precious to God, and frankly, even though I don't know who you are, you are precious to me.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time for Clarity

Hello friends,

I can't believe that it has been over a week since I have written. Much has happened. You see, I will be a woman of 62, next Monday, and along with my known medical problems, I have a few unexplainable medical issues. I faint. And sometimes I can't make up my mind as to whether I should faint or throw up. This has happened twice in the last week.

This terrifies my family. My husband said the other day, that I will be looking fine, feeling fine, talking, laughing...then BOOM! My face turns suddenly gray or green. Then I fall to the ground in a dead faint. My next move is to shout, "I'm going to throw up!" Usually I do both.

These symptoms can mean a lot of things. It could be silent heart disease. It could be small strokes. It could be nothing, and it could be something. I've had doctors who have had differing opinions. One wrote, "Patient claims to have fainting spells. I believe that there is little physically wrong with this lady."

Thanks, Doc. Now that medical science has proven you wrong, I would love to hear what you "believe" today. Sadly, if a woman has symptoms, it's usually a number of things, according to doctors like these:

1. She's hysterical
2. She's having a panic attack
3. It's all in her head

Need I say more? In spite of a tendency to brush away the medical concerns of women, I also have seen this same attitude toward men. It is inexcusable!

I am very blessed to have a compassionate family doctor, who has little or no ego. She is a wonderful doctor, who really keeps up with the newest studies and medications, and she respects me.

Why are some doctors uncaring (yawn), hurried (I have real patients to care for, don't waste my time). Yes, I've had that said to me. Oh, and my all time favorite comment in my medical records from years ago: "This is an obese white woman..." At the time I weighed 134 pounds!

I've been fired by a doctor, who said that my asthma and diabetes were too complicated. Then he told me that diabetics with asthma DIE! Thank you doctor. He was pushing 70, and I had the incredible urge to ask him if he had picked out his cemetery plot. Whew! Finding a good doctor is rough.

Now, changing the subject, I want to go on record, that I am offended by the "bitter" remarks of presidential candidate, Obama. Gee...it's been years since I have straddled a rifle while holding my Bible, as I bitterly misjudged people who are different than I. Let me see if I can remember when that was. Oh yes! NEVER!

Is this man for real? Or should he be awarded an Oscar for a stellar performance as someone who cares? If not, I'd like a little clarity here from Mr. Obama. No, I don't live in Pennsylvania, but I do live in a rural area. Many of us are educated as well as conservative. In my family; however we do like straight talk, and we have voted Democratic when we felt that it was good for the country.

So, Senator Obama, why do you think that I worship God because I'm bitter? Is that why you go to church? Why do you think we cling to our guns? Could this be the bitter judgement of us, which you state that we feel towards others?

Here is the bottom line for me. In Matthew 12:34b, Jesus says, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." So, okay, Mr. Obama, what was in your heart when you judged us? That's all. A little clarity here, and you can drop that defensive attitude, too.

Father in heaven, this is a lesson for all of us. Grant us the grace to speak kindly of others. Heal us of our prejudices, and grant us the grace to keep our mouths shut about people we know nothing about. Give us the grace, Lord, to admit when we are wrong.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time to Wonder

Hello friends,

My eyes are pretty dim these days, and my fear is that I will lose my eyesight. There is such a blur of words, and the lights have streaks coming from them. At least, this is what I see. I can "touch type" without looking at the keys, but I also have to look on my new keyboard, since every board is just a little bit different. So, I look to make sure I don't miss a single letter.

Which reminds me...Jesus said that He had come to fulfill the Law (that would be the Law of Moses, which is technically the Law of God), not destroy it. In fact, He said that as long as the earth stands, not one "jot" or one "tittle" (the smallest stoke of the pen) would pass away.

So, as I sit here typing, squinting my eyes so that I can make out the letters, I think about how God cares about the tiniest pen stoke, the smallest sparrow, and every breath that I take. So, then, I wonder. What is God doing that I cannot see? If my eyes were 20/20, as they once were, do you suppose I would see the infinite? What is God doing that we cannot see?

My writing is an example of two frames of understanding. I'm a published author, without a published book. I have my own website, which is number one on a Google search of my name. I have a blog, in which I frequently write. My head knowledge tells me that my website and my blog are visited pretty regularly. Many of my stories and articles are all across the web. I'm known, somewhat. But what does that mean? What is God doing that I cannot see?

Once, when I was an invalid and pregnant with my youngest child, I was forgotten. People who knew, didn't want to know. I was a stranger in a strange land, you might say. I was so very lonely, so I focused on my relationship with God. I made a promise to Him, that just as I was forgotten, I would not forget others. I told Him that when I got the chance, I would reach out to those who feel forgotten. This is why I chose to do what I do.

So, in all of this, which is really small stuff within a vast universe, I wonder what God is doing. I'm certain that He is doing more than I could ever imagine. I suppose I will never know, exactly why I am here tapping away on my keyboard, trying to share my faith in Him, in some small way.

I talk to God, and I tell Him, that sometimes it feels as though I am standing still. That I am a creature, His child, who needs to hear from Her father. I tell Him that I need a hug, words of encouragement, and a knowing as to what He is doing that I cannot see. He is doing something, and nothing He does is small.

So, now I wonder, if I lose my sight, will I then finally see with understanding, what He is doing to the hearts of those who read my message? I wonder how He is using me.

Father in Heaven, You have given each of us gifts to share, whether it be a great medical discovery, or simply a kind word. Which gift is the greatest? The kind word or the great discovery?

Jesus said, a cup of water given to the least of those who follow Him, will bring rich rewards. I doubt that He was talking about money. The reward is not now, this is merely the journey, and I travel in His bloody footprints, striving to honor Him in what I do.

Father in Heaven, here I write, holding a cup of water, desiring to do Your will. Please, Father, help me to understand what you are doing that I cannot see.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time to Look Within

Hello friends,

Who am I? I ask myself. Who is this person that I feel inside? Who is this person who dances gracefully in my heart, but whose feet can't seem to follow? Who is this person who can watch a sunset from beginning to end, on one exhaled breath?

Who am I, now that the stars grow dim, right before my eyes. I miss them each time I am able to walk outside at night, and look up at the sky, only to be disappointed by a blurry, milky smear.

I did, however, see something wonderful last night, as I let our dog run out and take his trot out to his tree. You may laugh. But these are the times when unexpected beauty often unfolds. Out in the darkened eastern sky, there was the moon, a small sliver of red, with a tiny line of red encompassing the entire edge. The definition of this lunar event is beyond me; however what it did to my heart was amazing. You see, when I'm all alone, and I see some incredible event of nature, I'm quite certain that every beautiful thing was created just for me.

This is not my typical blog entry. I feel as though I have been neglecting the most important relationship in my life...my relationship with Jesus. For me, a relationship requires that I talk to Him, praise Him, and most of all, that I listen.

It is easy for me to become depressed. It was a family tradition when I was growing up. I'm talking - Van Gogh cutting off his ear and sending it to his lady love - depression! You think I jest, but I can promise you that the theme song for my family was The Twilight Zone! So, when I feel depressed, I often don't recognize it right away. But when I do, that's the time to renew my relationship with God.

So, here I go, unsophisticated, non-poetical, and unknowing what I am about, today. Off I go to my treadmill, and my dad-blasted MP3 Player (which I will never fully understand how to use), and with as little cursing as possible, I will walk that mile, just for Him.

Father, we all have these days when we long for good news to heal our aching souls. We often equate these longings, as a longing for the things of this world. Something to tell us we are worth the breath that we take. However, as we bend our will to Yours, grant us the grace to know that our hope is in You.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time to Garden

Hello friends,

It looks as though we are going to have a great spring, at least so far. Last year, we had an early flush of blooms, then a heavy freeze that lasted for over a week. All of our beautiful blooms wound up looking like the mark-down produce bin of the supermarket.

So, we do not have a great show, this spring, especially from our flowering pears. The crab apples bloom later, as do the red buds, so, if we are blessed to have milder temperatures, then the crab apples and red buds will burst into bloom very soon.

The white daffodils are just beginning to shrivel up, and the later ones, like the ones with bright orange or peach colored centers, and some late blooming fancies are still waving like flags in the garden. The roses are going to be beautiful this year, if the weather holds out.

A particular blessing is our Canadian Hemlock "live" Christmas tree, which has made it through winter, still alive. We are debating on where we should place it. The ground will need to be prepared carefully, and it will need the soil to remain loose and moist.

We also have 5 Thuja Green Giants, which will be planted in a kind of copse, so that the birds and we will all be able to enjoy the fast growing beauty of this evergreen tree. We have other evergreens, which we have potted, and it was worth their lives (really) just to make it through the winter.

Every spring I go through this...a kind of hopeful renewal of life. It invigorates me, and now that my new medications have made it possible for me to take part, I feel almost reborn.

So, I was wondering how I might encourage a renewal of my spirit? Have I allowed God to enter my life and sweep out the old cobwebs of my former thoughts, allowing real truth to be ushered in? This is something for me to take before Him, with humility, because I think that may be part of my present struggle with life as it is, as opposed to what I wish it were.

I do struggle against much of our present existence. As I get older, I have begun to realize that those who are supposed to care, don't. And the truth is being reinvented every day. What if God gave us what we deserve? Do you think that we could stand that? I don't think that we would like it. We can be thankful that God rewards our efforts, even if we fail, like a missionary who has not a single convert, after years of service. God rewards the service, not the result.

This is a good thing for me to think about, as I do my best to not be a part of the problem. I may not be able to fix things, but I know who can. I can only wonder what His solution will be.

Father in heaven, please forgive us for the things we fail to do, that we should do; and forgive us most of all for the things we do, which we should not have done.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
http://www.entertainingangels.org/
http://www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com/

A Time for Remembering Charlton Heston

Hello friends,

All of us have memories. Some are good, and some are not so good. The following memory that I wish to share with you, is one of the most precious memories of my life..

Charlton Heston: The Autograph By Jaye Lewis

It was June of 1968, and I was fleeing for my life, carrying my two month old, baby daughter. I had been rescued by a compassionate church group in Key West, Florida, and my brother had managed to scrape together enough money for the only seat left on an airplane traveling from Atlanta to Detroit, Michigan. It was first class. I’d never flown first class, before. Not being a drinker, I declined the offer of champagne with breakfast.

My first marriage had proven to be a nearly deadly experience, and as I flew home to be with my parents, I felt very agitated. Anything, God, I silently prayed. Anything to break the monotony of my own tortured thoughts.

At that moment, my baby bobbed over toward a smoker, a bit of drool dripping from her chin. As she studied him with wide-eyed wonder, she let out an enormous belch, right in his face! It was all I could do to keep from laughing! The man gave a disgusted grunt, and stepping over us, he retreated down the isle into the back of the plane. I never saw him again.

Behind me, across the isle, I heard a man laughing. Turning to look at him, I saw a handsome man with a beet red face, nearly helpless with amusement. Our eyes locked, and we both cracked up.

“Out of the mouths of babes!” Said my conspirator, with a wicked twinkle in his eye. We laughed for some time, and then we began to visit.

He was heading home to visit his parents in Detroit, Michigan. My daughter and I were also on our way home to stay with my parents, who lived just south of Detroit.

“What a beautiful child,” he said, gazing at my little girl, with her soft dark curls and her big brown eyes. I agreed. Something about this man was vaguely familiar, but I just couldn’t place him. We talked. He was warm, kind, and funny. I was pensive from time to time, but it was a relief to have a kindred soul to distract me from my troubles.

I introduced myself, and he told me that his friends called him “Chuck.” As we were visiting, I just could not get out of my mind, that I knew this man from somewhere. I certainly knew no one who traveled first class, and since I was raised in the south, it would have been unlikely that we had ever met. He was traveling from Los Angeles. I was traveling from Key West, Florida, and we had no similar points of reference.

His voice was mesmerizing. It was so familiar. Strong and evenly tempered. Where had I heard that voice? All of a sudden, I knew him! I was sitting across from a very famous man. Charlton Heston! My God! I couldn’t believe it, and we were talking like we were old friends! Should I tell him that I recognized him? And what could I say?!

I just loved you in The Ten Commandments?! How stupid would that sound? Tell him that he was the famous Charlton Heston? I don’t think so. I was pretty certain that he knew exactly who he was. I didn’t think that he needed me to inform him. So, I never said a word.

He was charming and kind. He held my little girl, and he played the typical baby games, speaking to her in a warm and coaxing way. She crowed in his face and giggled. I don’t remember what we talked about. Ordinary things. We visited for three and a half hours. I didn’t tell him that I was fleeing for my life, and he never told me that he was a famous movie star.

All too soon our trip was over. The plane landed and we both got our carry-ons. Mine was a diaper bag. His was something more Samsonite. He gathered his things, and I picked up my infant daughter. He left the plane to be greeted by the press and cameras. I left to obscurity. We both hugged our families, and my last sight of him was to see him smile and nod his head at me, as he began to answer questions from someone holding a microphone. I smiled back, and we parted forever.

I didn’t watch the news. I didn’t see the interview. I don’t know the rest of his story. I did tell my parents, who doubted that the man was famous. After all, on the plane we were simply two travelers, passing time. Somehow, this event was a pivotal point in my life. I had respected the privacy of a famous man, simply because I could. After eleven months of married hell, he had made me feel normal again.

Now, since he has recently passed-on, I like to think of a man who gave me my first glimpse into a normal life, one where I could expect to be treated with respect. He didn’t have to be kind. He could have been aloof and superior, but somehow I don’t think that was a part of his character. Often in the tumultuous days of my bitter divorce, I would think of that very famous man, who touched my life with grace and humor, and then I was able to feel normal again.

Six months after this incident, my Dad watched an interview with the famous Charlton Heston on a nighttime talk show. He was talking about the pleasures and hazards of being recognized by his fans, while going about his personal life. Charlton Heston shared a story of one of his most special “fan” experiences.

It seems that he was traveling east with a young lady, who was going home with her baby. She seemed troubled at times, but he had thoroughly enjoyed their visit.

“What made that encounter so special?” the interviewer inquired.

“She didn’t ask me for my autograph,” Mr. Heston replied. “She made me feel totally normal. She didn’t recognize me at all.”

The next day, my Dad couldn’t wait to tell me about the talk show. He urged me to write to Mr. Heston, but I refused.

“Dad, trust me. Thousands of women are writing to him as we speak!”

Now, nearly forty years later, it occurs to me, how blessed I am that I did not invade the privacy of that famous man. He gave me a precious memory, and, by the way, he did give me his autograph. He wrote his autograph upon my life!

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.com
www.entertainingnagelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time for a Step at a Time

Hello friends,

A Step at a Time. That's all it takes. Every journey. Each decision. Everything requires a step at a time. Instant life changes are not the miracle. Taking that next step is. Sticking it out, when the evidence is not there. That is the miracle of the every day.

I've learned not to trust easy answers. I've learned to look beyond that pat on the back, or even the encouragement of those who love me. I've learned that the most important action I can take, is reaching out for that next step.

For me, this journey of steps is more than a trip on a treadmill. It encompasses everything in my life: the certainty that when my husband says, "You are beautiful," I can believe that I am. When my daughters tell me that I am the woman they aspire to be, then I can make the decision to see in myself, what they see in me.

Of course, my most important journey is within. I never go alone. I always take God with me. We look into the dark corners of my life, where despair and uncertainty abide, and I let Him shine His light, no matter how many shadows there are. And I believe that when the light of His transforming grace bursts through the gloom, I can be confident that He has taken my faults with Him, never to return.

This is not to say that I don't dirty things up again. I do. I cannot imagine why I let those dark creatures of sin back into my inner self, but I do from time to time. Each time my inner self plunges into despair, I must call my Lord, and I must invite His Holy Spirit back in, to shine His light again.

I believe that is one of the things that God sees in me: that propensity to reach out for Him in the dark...to walk up to Him when I know that I am unworthy...and if necessary, to crawl on my belly, until I can touch the hem of His robe.

So, here I am, after months of a treadmill untouched by my despairing hands and feet. Yesterday, by His grace, I began again. I started out at barely a crawl, just a little over 1 mile an hour, and I stayed there until I was warmed up enough to creep a little faster. This was no power walk, but it was a humble walk, knowing that I could not make it if I hurried. In nearly 40 minutes, and the space of an entire album of praise, I stayed on that treadmill until I was done.

I never did get my target heart-rate up to where it should be; but I finished. And today, perhaps I'll do better, a step at a time. Whether change is in one's character or in one's physical body, nothing is accomplished at once. Everything begins with that first step, and the victory belongs to every step thereafter.

So, go ahead, cut one thing out of your diet and take that step at a time. Praise your children one more time, and then increase a step at a time. Love your spouse, and say so, one more time. A step at a time, with small increases, will give you the confidence to continue. Be stubborn. Keep going, until the end. Perseverance changes behavior, and prayer changes the heart.

God be with you, as I will, in prayer, and with Him, taking a step at a time, until He calls me home.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time for Giving Your Heart a Vacation

Hello friends,

Today is truly spring in the southern Appalachians. My garden is abundant with blooms. The daffodils are nodding their heads in vibrant colors of yellow and white. An early tulip is just beginning to burst forth. There are six surprises, six daffodil blooms of deep orange centers surrounded by yellow petals. The fancy “daffs” are celebrating their waving yellow petals, by raising their heads proudly above crocuses of deep purple, white, and gold. This is just the beginning. Soon my redbuds will be dressed in glorious shades of purple and pink. The crabapples will catch on fire, and take my breath away. Then, my ‘Malus’ crabapple will break open its ruffles of luscious pink. My Knock-Out roses will not be far behind, blooming red and blushing pink. There will be more roses this year, and I can’t wait to choose them and place them into the ground.

The sun is higher in the sky, and the dim light of winter is fading. I was raised in the Sunshine State of Florida, so I am affected with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) during the winter months. By the end of winter I am wandering the house at night, my body clock longing for sunshine and light. So, now is the time for giving my heart a vacation.

I will watch the glorious sunset from beginning to end. I will arise with the sun in the mountains, where morning begins with a fairy mist and ends with the rosy dawn. I will talk to God in my garden, as I walk past every colorful hue. I will thank him, joyfully, each day, and I will bless Him for the gentle sun of spring. My heart is light, this day, though my eyes are growing dim. I can see God’s handiwork. I can see the work of my hands. I can see this spring’s celebration of life. And my heart resonates with the sights and sounds of spring.

I can’t wait to design new gardens. We have been blessed with an acre of land. Ten years ago, our first spring began with consternation. What in heck were we going to do with an acre of ugly grass covering rocks and clay? Much effort has gone into each garden. Many of these gardens have been created by my husband and children, just for me to enjoy through our windows. Years spent indoors makes me delight in every breath that I can safely take outside. If my hips and my legs would allow, I could dance away the day, with yapping dogs leaping about my feet.

So, give your heart a vacation today. Laugh. Read. Celebrate the day with things that you love best. Then, thank God for each and every gift. God bless and keep you, this day, and may He give you many reasons to celebrate the life He has given to you.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time to Laugh

Hello friends,

I'm starting to get those "before" birthday greetings again. I've been getting them ever since I began to reach fifty. You know how it goes. Anyone who has your birthdate can reach out and touch you with "a really great deal," such as whole life insurance policies, where you CAN'T BE TURNED DOWN!!! This always includes a lecture on how destitute my family would be, not without me, but without that cushion of cash to warm their hearts.

I love my newest missive, which comes via my Credit Union, which used to NEVER give out our information. But, what the heck, when you breathe your last, you're not going to need that credit line and Social Security Number!

Here's how the latest insurance come-on goes:

"As a valued member of such-and-such credit union, you've come to expect reasonable prices and good service." Yeah, like the time THEY made a mistake and then reported us to a credit agency, so that our information is now tagged (which gives us a guarantee that we will be assured of high interest loans, if we ever need one).

The invitation goes on to say: "Now, just before your next (really old) birthday (when you'll probably croak) you're invited to take advantage of another affordable value (Yeah, like the last time): the MEMBERS Whole Life Plan." They go on to say that I can get up to $10,000 worth of "whole life" insurance...without a physical exam! This means that they know I'm on a lot of medications, which will probably keep me above ground for another twenty years.

What they fail to say, with this "whole life plan," is that I will accrue somewhere around 5 dollars in savings, but for those twenty years, the insurance company can invest my money, along with everyone else's money, so that they can make more money for themselves. We're talking millions, while I am sending them nearly 50 dollars a month. Bye-bye to my house payment! I expect to receive a few more of these implied, and often pointed references to my impending death. Hurry! Hurry! Before you croak!

My favorite contact was from the local cemetery calling to try to sell me a valuable cemetery plot. Of course, she assured me, I wouldn't want to be buried alone, "so buy a family plot, at a substantial savings by the way, giving your family a place to rest, also." Now, I may be tottering on the edge of my grave, but I could swear that only the Vikings threw the whole family onto the funeral pyre!

My favorite story about "family plots" involves a one time friend of mine, whose father died, and it wasn't until he was about to be dropped into the cement lined hole, that the family discovered, there were five people underneath him, and to make matters worse, the coffin was too big for the hole! Imagine that, with everyone looking on, as they hauled in the wrecking crew to chip away at the concrete, until the poor soul's coffin was able to be stuffed into his awaiting tomb. Is it any wonder that everyone in my family has decided to be cremated?

So, when you feel yourself getting older, and you think that your life is over, and you're certain that you'll never have fun again, just think of the rest of us, after sixty, waiting for the wrecking crane, and go ahead...laugh until you cry. I know, I will!

With love and laughter,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time to Rely on God

Hello friends,

I hope that you had a blessed Easter. Ours was quiet, spent at home, and we studied the Scripture Matthew, Chapter 24. We began our study of Matthew’s Gospel months ago. How significant that this Chapter presented itself at a time when we celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

As someone who relies on Jesus as my only Salvation, Matthew 24 is particularly appropriate for these times in which we live, where there are wars and rumors of wars; famines and earthquakes; false prophets and false Christs; tribulations beyond imaginings; lawlessness and deceit; and love growing cold.

Have we not all seen this? Isn’t it time to throw up our hands, run around the neighborhood, and fall into deep despair? What shall we do? How can we bear it? Well, in times like these, where hatred and discontent are shouted from the pulpit, and division and malcontent is all around us, we can and we must rely on God.

There are those who insist that Jesus was a revolutionary or protester of the government of His times. Yet, this Only Son of God said, “My kingdom is not of this world.” He also said, “Render onto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s and to God the things that are God’s,” showing Himself submissive to His Father, yet respectful of government.

There are many false gospels being preached today. There is the “prosperity gospel,” which challenges you to send your money for obscure ministries, preferably by bank card. It teaches that by sending your “seed gift,” somehow your empty bank account will fill, like magic.

Then there is the “word of faith” gospel, which goes hand in hand with the prosperity gospel, by telling you that your faith has personal power. According to “word of faith.” You can command riches to come and bad health to vanish. When this is unsuccessful, it then becomes your fault, because of your weak faith, your unworthy prayers, or that dad-burn sin you’re hiding (or don’t even know you’ve committed); therefore canceling your harvest of ― you guessed it ― money and health. Ya-da…ya-da…ya-da! One wonders how these false prophets sleep at night, knowing that they will face Jesus and have to explain themselves.

Yes, I have been hood-winked by these false teachings. But, no more. I will rely on God and His word to teach me. The Bible is plain spoken, and the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 24, illustrates the concerns of our day. Just realizing that God knows how weary and perverse our world is, and believing Jesus’ reassurance, “See that you are not troubled; for all these things must come to pass…” Then He tells us, “He (or she) who endures [it] (or, as my husband says “out-waits it”) to the end will be saved.”

So, as my eyes grow dim, I rely on Him. As this world becomes more unrecognizable, and hate and false doctrine are shouted from the pulpit, I will endure. As we live out the last days, foretold in Matthew 24, I will believe that God will keep me and my loved ones safe. There is no other choice for me. I cannot change the world. I can only change myself and welcome God’s presence in my heart.

He has sought me all my days. He has captured my heart. He has made Himself irresistible to me, and I hide myself in the shadow of His wings. Bless His name! Praise His holy word! I am His. Wicked, unlovable, whining, thankless me. I will never be worthy, but I accept His precious, priceless gift of Salvation and love.

Jesus, thank You for your sacrifice. Words cannot equal the awe and reverence I feel. With all my heart I thank You. May Your name be praised. May we hide beneath the shadow of Your saving grace, and may we endure this weary world until You come to take us home.

Abraham Lincoln once said, "If you want to know the measure of a man, give him power."

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time to Hold On

Hello friends,

One of the most important lessons that I have learned from my small dog, is to hold on. You see, the word "dachshund" means badger hound. Dachshunds were used in Germany to hunt the fierce badger, a diabolical animal. These little dogs would leap into the air and grab the badger by its nose. Fierce and faithful, the dog would not let go, even unto death. At other times, the dachshund's long, low body was able to follow the badger down into its hole, and nine times out of ten, the dachshund was the victor, simply by holding on.

My Happy Dog has had four insecticide treatments that nearly killed him. He has had two spinal surgeries, within a month of each other. And last year, after minor surgery, he nearly bled to death. Yet, to see him today, you would see a bright, sturdy, fiercely unafraid, highly intelligent, clown of a dog, who never gives up. Happy Dog holds on! Always.

Many times in my life, I don't hold on. I go to pieces, even though God has stepped in again and again, to save the day. Even though Jesus went to the Cross willingly, just to save miserable old me. No, this is not false humility. When things get tough, I whine. When I don't understand what God is saying to me, I complain. I can grumble with the loudest of the Israelites on their worst day in the desert. Sure, God gave them water, but that was yesterday. Sure God healed me of many things, but that was not today. Often I get so busy being miserable, that I forget to wait for the blessing. I can't hear God, while I'm making so much noise.

So, today, I'm taking a page from Happy Dog's book. If I start to slip, I'll hold on. If I come to the end of my rope, and I can't tie a knot, I'll dig my nails in, and I won't let go.

Last night, I turned my head to look at my husband, and the vision in my right eye failed. His face was nothing but a blue haze. It broke my heart. One of the first things I remember about the first time I saw my husband, was his face: thoughtful, intelligent, and kind. His eyes are a forest green, and the light in them shines only for me. I love him. It's as simple as that.

Yesterday, our youngest daughter was seen at University Hospital, and we discovered that her pituitary tumor has responded to her medication, beautifully. The tumor has shrunk by a third. This sweet child of mine is full of courage. When things get tough, she holds on. She doesn't let go. And God, through the wonders of modern medicine, has not forgotten her courage. By His grace, the medicine is successful.

So, now, as we all rejoice in this good news, I must understand how important it is for me. Through darkness and light, I must hold on. Believe. Trust. Stubbornly placing one foot in front of the other, while reaching out for the only One who can rescue me. Hold on, Jaye. Hold on to Him.

Father in Heaven, when life seems dark and the ground shakes beneath my feet, grant me the grace to trust, to believe, and like my little Happy Dog, give me the strength to just hold on.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time for Reason

Hello friends,

It has been a few days since I have written. I apologize for that. My eyesight changes from moment to moment. Sometimes everything blurs, as it is now; while other times that dad-burn spot is more noticeable than anything else.

Here are the medical facts on my eyes. My left eye, which I never thought to question has macular degeneration (MD). Macular degeneration is fairly common in those of us who are referred to as “elderly,” definitely not my favorite description. The MD in my left eye is small and unlikely to progress, unless you account for the problem in my right eye. My right eye, the one I’m having difficulty seeing through, has Central Serous Retinopathy (CSR). At the back of my right eyeball, to make things brief, is a bubble, which gives my vision a mostly orange spot, through which I struggle to see. We’re waiting to see if it will heal itself, before we consider surgery.

To say the least, I was not expecting this. I eat lots of berries, the wonder fruit. I love broccoli, carrots, salads, spinach, oranges, tangerines, and all the other eye protecting foods. Surprisingly, my diabetes has nothing to do with my eye problems. Yet, here I am, with eye problems, as though I ate burgers and French fries every day of my life. I haven’t had sugar in four years, and my A1c (diabetic blood test, which measures glucose) has gone from 7.5 down to 6.2, which is nearly normal.

So, why? Why? I ask myself and God. What is God saying to me in all of this? Maybe I’m being punished for my sins? No, I’m certain not. For Jesus said, when asked this about a blind man, “This is for the glory of God the Father.” So, why? Does God dislike me? No. God is not full of human prejudices. He loves each of us, in a personal way. God is filled with loving-kindness, mercy, and goodness. So why? Why me?

What does the “faith movement say?” First it says, “Send me your money.” Then it says, “If you had faith, you would be healed.” Now, understand, I believe in faith. I believe that faith can move mountains. But I ask you, which is easier, moving mountains or moving the human heart? Of course, Jesus answered this, when he told the paralyzed man to “take up your bed and walk.” He made the comparison of His power. He said, which is greater, to forgive sins or to heal a person. Of course, the greater gift is to forgive sins.

I do not believe that I have any personal power. The belief in personal power permeates, not only the secular world, but also the Body of Christ. As a result of this, people with severe illness and also mental illness are written off as weak in faith. Worse yet, they are often told that they have sin in their life. Really! Well, welcome to the club. I have sin in my life. I’m impatient, often ungrateful, crabby, and whining. I’m sure I have other faults, too. However, the ones who accumulate wealth, at the expense of poor souls, who are misled by empty promises, they have sins, too. And the worst sin they commit, is to insist that they know the mind of God, and even worse, they pervert the Gospel of Christ.

So, I ask myself why? Why me? And, of course, I know the reason.

Jesus did not say, “Take up your bank-card and follow Me.”

He did not say, “Acquire wealth, and I will give you more.”

He did not say, “Think yourself rich, or well, or blessed.”

Jesus said, “Pick up your Cross, and follow me.”

To the man building a bigger barn to hold all his wealth, Jesus said, “Thou fool! Tonight thy soul will be required of thee.”

In the Old Testament, God said to His people, “Come let us reason together.”

God also said, “Obedience is greater than sacrifice.”

So, I really do know the answer to my present struggle. I am to be obedient. I am to pick up my Cross and follow Him. I am to be thankful for every breath I take. I am to look in every corner of my life, and know that God is responsible for every good thing. I am to reason with Him, and I am to listen with my heart, as He leads me from grace to grace. And should the darkness fall upon my eyes, so that I cannot see the beautiful things I love, such as, my husband’s deep green eyes so filled with love. Or the devotion of my daughters’ smiling encouragement. Or the wag of our puppies’ tails. Or the sunset. Or the sunrise. Or the fresh blooms of spring. I will remember and be thankful for each good thing.

Father in Heaven, I have let you down again and again. I have forgotten the humility of Your Son, Jesus Christ, who endured untold sufferings, so that I could whine and complain about what I lack. Thank You, Jesus, for loving me and saving me from myself. In the days ahead, no matter the path, may I walk with you, in trust, and may I carry my Cross with joy.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time to See

Hello friends,

I’m writing this at 200%, because my vision is failing me. Each day it becomes more difficult, but I am beginning to accept whatever happens as God’s will. I’m very fortunate to be able to type without looking at the keys.

Yesterday, I met my Ophthalmologist ― for the life of me, I can’t spell that word without Spell-Check! Anyhow, he is young, very young, and he looks younger. He is so young that I had an incredible urge to reach out and burp him. He is so young, that I was sorry I didn’t bring him a coloring book and crayons. He was so young, that he forgot manners and respect. I can honestly say that his respect was reserved for himself, and his knowledge.

He could not tell me what is in my eye that is taking away my vision. To be fair, he actually said he wasn’t qualified; so tomorrow, Thursday, March 13, I will be seeing a Retina Specialist, who will give me a dye job (just in my veins, of course). This will enable him to see what is wrong. I’m praying for something that I can do to help myself, like a more restrictive diet.

I’ve done a lot of searching on the internet, avoiding those sites that are a little creepy…you know, the sites that tell you they have a cure-all for what ails you, like fruit juice and ground peach pits. No thanks. Still, the medical sites that I visited, did not give me comfort. Today is a much better day. I am not so afraid.

What if I do lose my sight? Will I still be able to “see?” I think I will.

Tears in a Bottle

I have memorized every sunset,
And I have collected the rosy dawn.
All of my tears are in His bottle
And in my heart, I behold His Son.

My husband’s eyes are green and smiling,
And his touch is soft on my skin.
Jesus’ love always surrounds me,
I can be proud of the body I’m in.

Oh how I miss the scent of my garden,
For that sense is gone from me too;
But I can see in my trembling spirit
Every petal, curve, and hue.

I kneel helpless, before my Savior
As my body betrays me now;
But I will trust He knows the answer,
With stubborn faith I can accept somehow.

I’m sure He’ll tell me why this happened,
Perhaps in just an eon or two;
Then He’ll reveal my tears in His bottle;
He’ll say, “Jaye, My garden is you.”

© Jaye Lewis, 2008

The great Christian writer, C.S. Lewis, said that perhaps we were not meant for happiness. He looked at suffering as a blow from God’s hammer and chisel, chipping away at the stone of our lives, and making something new of what is left. I could not disagree more.

While it is true that just as I get beyond one suffering, another seems to be waiting in the wings, there has been much happiness in my life, and there still is. What if suffering is a process that is difficult, but purposeful? What if my obedience and disappointment are the shovel and hoe of my heavenly garden? What if, when we suffer, we are actually creating something both beautiful and unseen? Perhaps if we are very still, we can hear God’s answer, as He creates in us His garden of love?

Just in case you are wondering if this message is from a holy person, let me reassure you. Yesterday, on the way home, I was very angry with God, and after four years without sugar, I was looking desperately for a donut shop. I didn’t find one, but I was hoping. God puts up with me, even then.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
http://www.entertainingangels.org/
http://www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com/

A Time for Tender Mercy

Hello friends,

I'm writing to you from my living room on a new computer which is beginning to annoy me. Automatically it has become something that I can barely read. The background is too bright, and the print is too light. All in all, it is annoying to discover just how easy it is to change things right before my eyes. Yet, the computer can be fixed. My eyes, not necessarily.

Two days ago, I awoke to vision that had turned my right eye's view into a dull, orange pink. When I tried to read, my sight was distorted and rather dim. I immediately went to my eye doctor, who in turn sent me to an ophthalmologist, whom I will see tomorrow. Since then, my eyesight has improved; however the spot, while smaller, is still there.

What can this mean? I don't know, and I won't speculate. However, it has occurred to me that life is much like a computer. We get "bugs." We get too bright for our own good, and we are too small for the good of others.

Computers can be fixed, or traded in, or replaced. People, on the other hand, are not computers. Often they cannot be fixed, and would we want to trade them or replace them? All too often, the answer is yes. I have known people with catastrophic illness who have been abandoned by a spouse, laughed at by their children, and whispered about in church.

"She staggers all the time. Could she have a drinking problem?"

In every medical condition, I have heard and seen speculation first. I wonder why this is? Why do we believe things that we do not know? Where do we keep our tender mercy? Or have we lost it? This is personal for me, because I stagger often, just as though I were drunk. I don't drink.

What has happened to me is the result of several medical conditions. In spite of that my husband shows me every day that he loves me without condition. And every day, he loves me more than the day before. His love is more precious than gold. He loves me. Always. Without question. Without speculation. This is the miracle of my life. So, here is my testimony:

For the Time that God Has Given

For the time that God has given,
I will thank Him every day,
As the rosy glow of dawn
Seems to take my cares away.

And for the evening sunset
That sets the sky on fire
I will hold my breath and shout to God,
"You are my heart's desire!"

Then in the evening I will gaze
Into my husband's eyes,
And I will see reflected there
A love he can't disguise.

His devotion is so very like
A shooting star above,
A precious and a priceless gift
Sent from the God of love.

So, if I ever lose my sight
And cannot see his face,
My hands will then become my eyes,
And lovingly I'll trace

Every contour that I've always known
Has eyes for only me;
And then with gratitude to God,
My heart will truly see.

How can I not be grateful
For this one and perfect love?
No matter what the future brings,
I'll trust in God above.

© Jaye Lewis, 2008

So, my friends, while there is trepidation in my heart, there is also confidence. I know that God loves me. I know that my husband adores me. I have wonderful daughters, and I pray that God will truly give them long life and all good things. Life is always precious, and true love does not run when tribulations appear.

I hope for you, this day, a love without condition and faith to accept all the things in life that God has given to you, especially in those times of testing.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time for Trust in God

Hello friends,

Today is a time for me to be more self-disclosing than, perhaps, I'd like to be. You see, I have trust issues. Admittedly, I have found trustworthy people to be few and far between. It is different in writing to you, simply because those who want to be included in my journey, are often facing the same, or similar, things that I am. So, we know each other, probably better than we can even imagine, because I believe that God has brought us together.

In failing to trust others, even with good reason, I sometimes forget to trust God. My suggestions to Him are so brilliant and logical, in my own mind, that I often forget that He is God, and I am merely His child. Children do not always know what is wise or good. Take my diabetes, for instance. That wonderful pancake, smothered in butter and syrup couldn't possibly hurt me. Yum. Yum. How good it would taste and feel as it is going across my teeth and into my stomach. But in two hours, I would be so sorry. My blood sugar would spike, and God only knows how high. I could get very ill, possibly going into a coma. Over time, my kidneys could shut down, and we know all the other awful things that could happen. But I dream, and even lust after pancakes...real pancakes.

As a result, God laid on my heart, four years ago, the direction He would have me go...diet and exercise. My treadmill has seen a lot of miles. My diet has remained basically the same, but there are other medications that I am now on, that make a difference in my quality of life. And for me, quality of life means having all of my limbs, being able to walk, growing old with the one I love, and seeing my children (if God so wills) grow into their golden years.

So, what does this have to do with trust? Well, my diabetes is not going away, even if there is a cure through embryonic stem cell research. I will not become a part of that, because I trust in the God who says, "[I] wove [you] together in [your] mother's womb." What He has allowed in a petri- dish, is not my affair. My trust is in God's Word. He has shown me that I can control my diabetes with diet and exercise, so someone else will have to deal with the ethics of stem cell research. I already have.

It's slow going on the treadmill, since I have developed neuropathy from the diabetes, but studies have shown that 10 minutes, 3 times a day, is as effective as 30 minutes all at once. So that's what I will do, all day long, if I have to.

My internal struggle today is the Presidential primary election. I have prayed and prayed, begged and pleaded, and I'm still scared. I don't know what God wants, and I am having trouble with my trust. I find myself tempted to give God instructions, and I am afraid that His choice for President will make me unhappy. Never has it meant so much to me. So, my only option is to trust in God, especially if things turn out against my wishes.

Trusting in God, is not like trusting in oneself, especially for the very successful person. I'm not one of them. I don't push myself to get ahead, and I don't want to be famous. I don't want riches. I do wish that I could buy my favorite plants, and have enough for food, gasoline, and all the other necessities that living in a rural area requires. So, I guess you could say that all I ask is enough. According to the wisest of people, "Enough is as good as a feast."

We live in a world where riches are everything. Well, what if riches are not what God wants for me? What if He wants me to become free of that need? What if He wants me to be able to leave with my family, throw the keys in the door, and walk away, without regret? I cannot say if this is true, but it warms my heart to realize God's desire for my intimacy with Him.

I have been most intimate with God during serious illness, when I was certain that I would not wake in the morning. I've also been most intimate during a night of prayer, when some sweet soul comes to my mind, and I have no idea why I'm praying for them. I have also been very intimate with God on my treadmill. It has been hard for me, when pain has kept me off of it. So I welcome the new medications, and all the responsibility that goes with them, because they are giving me a quality of life, that was not possible even five years ago.

I guess what I'm saying to myself is "Jaye, look at your life. Who has given it to you? Who has taken away your pain, and Who has given you happiness? What worldly riches can compare to this?

So, when it comes to today's Presidential Primary, I think I can survive, no matter who wins. I've survived the last 62 years of my life. I think I can survive a painful President. Presidents have come and gone, and the electorate in this country have been pretty consistent. As soon as the dust clears, people will see that they are dealing with a human being, who has flaws and imperfections that will be magnified into low approval ratings by his or her second term.

To the very young electorate, impassioned by adoration, you will soon grow up (at least we hope so), and the rosy glasses of idealism with become eclipsed by reality. A president usually consults with advisers who have very different points of view. The time will come quickly when whoever is President will disappoint all of us. I've lived through this before.

I pray for this country, and every person who reads this message. God will take care of His people... of every faith, race, and political persuasion. We have our reasons, and God has His. I will trust in Him.

Father, forgive me for my fears and anxieties. I know that it is You who are in charge. Thank you for giving each of us enough. Help us to understand your ways, and to be obedient in all things.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com

A Time for Disappointment

Hello friends,

No matter how happy I am, no matter how successful, no matter how rosy the future seems, I can always count on those times of disappointment to suck the hope right out of me. Disappointment is that distasteful experience that life gives us, especially when our hopes are most high. Why is that? Don’t we deserve a nice smooth road, all the way to the finish line? It would be nice, but as everyone knows, that is never the guarantee.

The Bible is filled with disappointment. The writers were often in difficult situations, even life threatening situations, and those were the times that they burst into song. The longest chapter in the Bible is Psalms 119, and the shortest is right next door, Psalms 117. That small chapter probably was written at a time when the Psalmist felt most alone, even forgotten, yet he wrote just one verse to celebrate his stubborn trust in the Lord.

As a writer and a poet, I am intimately familiar with those times when words fail me. How can I tell God how much I love Him, when I’m feeling numb? When I’m so low that I have to climb three flights of stairs, just to reach bottom, how can I be grateful? When depression falls on me like a steel safe, what can I say? Well, this must have been how the Psalmist felt, who wrote Psalms 117.

“Praise the Lord all you Gentiles (Nations)!
Laud Him, all you peoples!
For His merciful kindness is great toward us,
And the truth of the Lord endures forever.
Praise the Lord!”

All those exclamation points, every phrase tells me that the Psalmist cried out, against all odds, perhaps against his own disappointment; yet in spite of every discontent, he would praise the Lord. He actually invites and exhorts everyone to do the same. Be firm. Be stubborn. Shout. When all else fails, there is only One to turn to! Now, everyone Praise the Lord!

I love Psalm 117, not because of its great beauty or because of its great poetry. I love it for its stubborn declaration, no matter the odds, even if we can’t possibly win, turn to God, and praise Him with everything you’ve got.

Today is a day of great disappointment for me. The particulars do not matter. I feel a bit of despair, and I have no answer to my problem. It would be nice if God would give me a clear answer. I would welcome a memo. Just a few lines that explain why all this is happening. Sometimes God makes things clear, and sometimes He doesn’t. As He says, in Isaiah 55:8,

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.”

This is where I find comfort. God’s words tell me that I’m not in charge, and I am thankful for that. I don’t HAVE to be in charge. I can wait for Him. His thoughts are greater than mine. His ways are higher and more pure. He has the answer, and when knowing that is just killing me, I can trust Him to make all things clear in His time.

How sad it is to expect to have the answer. How despairing it is to depend on oneself. Because when one has failed to solve the problem, who does one turn to? Where do you go from here? This may not make much sense to those who hold the illusion of control, but for someone like me, it is the perfect answer. I can trust my God. I don’t have to be in control, and I can thank Him and praise Him, just because He is. Praise the Lord!

Accepting His Grace

Was I grateful enough when the heavens broke
And the angels cried real tears?
Was I humble enough when He healed my heart
So laden with burdens and fears?

Do I understand His sacrifice?
Can I possibly comprehend;
That He loved me before I was lovable,
And each day He loves me again?

I am broken inside when I think of all
His love that He poured out for me;
Drop by drop within my heart
Filling eternally.

How can I lift my eyes to His
When for me He suffered such pain?
How can He see me as I am,
Yet love me again and again?

Unworthy though I surely am,
I must accept His grace;
For heaven will never be heaven unless
I forever behold His face.

© Jaye Lewis, September 22, 2005

Lord, this is my testimony. I will trust You, when all my hope is gone. I will praise You, when I am filled with doubts. I will have faith in Your answer, when my faith is small, and I will thank You, when I feel my teeth on edge. Thank You Lord that You are in charge, so that I don’t have to be.

With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com